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Could it really be me that is problematic?

2020.09.19 03:10 areyna1231 Could it really be me that is problematic?

Me female (43) and he male (39)....we aren't married. We have been involved 7 1/2 years. There is so much so im going to try to condense this and still convey a clear pic of the issues. I realize how I am just another stranger on the internet and yall have no way of gauging my sincerity but I want to say how Im not the kind to tell the story where I am the infinite victim who never did wrong to him because i absolutely this isn't self serving is my point . Ok...moving on...7 years ago I was in the throws of a nasty heroin addiction and my once great life had been reduced to couchsurfing and selling sex to support the habit. I didn't get my tricks walking the street but rather i used internet apps...craigslist...backpage and chat lines! (I even laughed that a chat line still exists) . One slow night I was using chat line and i connected w my current boyfriend. We hooked up that same night, cash was exchanged. ...BUT...I felt guilt taking the payment for services because we had thee most insane chemistry and the sex was mindblowing! With other customers I rushed it and was hardly a participant because more often then not with trix I had a revolving door or the men who wanted me to shit on their chest or dress them up like a female...and almost always very unattractive..but with "J" .....lets call my guy "J".....wity him that night i was attracted and we had good convo. I told my sjs the next day how i wanted to see him again but if i did it would only be business and I allowed myself to imagine something more. keep in mind at this time in my life i was desperately yearning for normalcy again and to have a sex life where i enjoyed it and didn't negotiate funds in advance. WELL..J did contact me two days later and told me- not asked- told me I was going to be his girlfriend. I was like fuck it....and we were never not together since that day. Obviously I been around and i always remind me on how there is ALWAYS something with a man. A quirk or a kink that surfaces after ur in love....I watched and waited for that shoe to drop. He is basically normal A type latino/severe titty baby about his mom/ snobbish/ GOD fearing 🙄/closed minded sexually/no drink smoke. drugs/no criminal record/ good credit/ respectable/responsible...nothing too bad. We were an odd match. J is the decent dude from a family w some a male label ho...drives fancy expensive cars and lives in a nice area whereas me....fuck man...did i mention I was a hooker? That says it all. We were polar opposite from where we was from and who we were. I showed him how us poor ghetto folk live and it humbled him. He showed me respect. Never....and rhat isnt an exaggeration...NEVER has he hit me or calked me out my name or threw in my face how we met. Under other circumstances we would not dated. So....7 years we went thru cheating on both relapses and rehab stays at psych wards (severe PTSD) and my insane insecurities and jealousy thinking how it made no sense he wld want me since I had literally only my few old posessions and me. I knew he loved me. Well..the things that tarnish this lovely pic ive we go.....he never confessed cheating cause i caught him...he puts his mom before me and. allow her to screwup our plans cause everything is dropped for her...he let me be homeless in the winter sleeping in my car twice cause he wld not have me over cause his mom and him live together. By the way the mon doesnt like me. Ive never met not 1 friend....he password locks his cell....he has a pic of his car in jis cell as screensaver instead of me. I expressed marriage and he went along letting me look at rings...we talked on living together but that like many things...when it came time to act on them he wld come up witu more hurdles to cross then when i did there wld be more. Finally he said he wont live with me because......................I leave to work at 4am daily and I get in a bad mood too much for his comfort . He wont marry me cause he says its too risky with me struggling with major depression and having episodes at times. These are things he had recently said. the time prior to this one i told him to not be selfish let me go so i can find a man who will marry me etc...he of course fed me crumbs of hope again and i stayed again and now this. I have got clean....kept my my own bills...stopped a handle on my aggression all at his request....remember..i jumped over all those hurdles to show him my commitment and cause i loved him. And here we are. He does help financially and has given me cars. I appreciate the financial help but i explain that i want to live together and get married...he says basically i should just be grateful for his generosity. Am I being an asshole here? He makes me feel like since i lived the life i have somehow im not worthy of those things. I should not dare gripe and thank the GODS that he chose a person like me. What do I do? I love him but he wont move forward and i know its me. I cant make more changes aside from being a whole different person. Its so heartbreaking. please be honest w yall thoughts. And thanks for reading
submitted by areyna1231 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 03:10 areyna1231 Could it really be me that is problematic?

Me female (43) and he male (39)....we aren't married. We have been involved 7 1/2 years. There is so much so im going to try to condense this and still convey a clear pic of the issues. I realize how I am just another stranger on the internet and yall have no way of gauging my sincerity but I want to say how Im not the kind to tell the story where I am the infinite victim who never did wrong to him because i absolutely this isn't self serving is my point . Ok...moving on...7 years ago I was in the throws of a nasty heroin addiction and my once great life had been reduced to couchsurfing and selling sex to support the habit. I didn't get my tricks walking the street but rather i used internet apps...craigslist...backpage and chat lines! (I even laughed that a chat line still exists) . One slow night I was using chat line and i connected w my current boyfriend. We hooked up that same night, cash was exchanged. ...BUT...I felt guilt taking the payment for services because we had thee most insane chemistry and the sex was mindblowing! With other customers I rushed it and was hardly a participant because more often then not with trix I had a revolving door or the men who wanted me to shit on their chest or dress them up like a female...and almost always very unattractive..but with "J" .....lets call my guy "J".....wity him that night i was attracted and we had good convo. I told my sjs the next day how i wanted to see him again but if i did it would only be business and I allowed myself to imagine something more. keep in mind at this time in my life i was desperately yearning for normalcy again and to have a sex life where i enjoyed it and didn't negotiate funds in advance. WELL..J did contact me two days later and told me- not asked- told me I was going to be his girlfriend. I was like fuck it....and we were never not together since that day. Obviously I been around and i always remind me on how there is ALWAYS something with a man. A quirk or a kink that surfaces after ur in love....I watched and waited for that shoe to drop. He is basically normal A type latino/severe titty baby about his mom/ snobbish/ GOD fearing 🙄/closed minded sexually/no drink smoke. drugs/no criminal record/ good credit/ respectable/responsible...nothing too bad. We were an odd match. J is the decent dude from a family w some a male label ho...drives fancy expensive cars and lives in a nice area whereas me....fuck man...did i mention I was a hooker? That says it all. We were polar opposite from where we was from and who we were. I showed him how us poor ghetto folk live and it humbled him. He showed me respect. Never....and rhat isnt an exaggeration...NEVER has he hit me or calked me out my name or threw in my face how we met. Under other circumstances we would not dated. So....7 years we went thru cheating on both relapses and rehab stays at psych wards (severe PTSD) and my insane insecurities and jealousy thinking how it made no sense he wld want me since I had literally only my few old posessions and me. I knew he loved me. Well..the things that tarnish this lovely pic ive we go.....he never confessed cheating cause i caught him...he puts his mom before me and. allow her to screwup our plans cause everything is dropped for her...he let me be homeless in the winter sleeping in my car twice cause he wld not have me over cause his mom and him live together. By the way the mon doesnt like me. Ive never met not 1 friend....he password locks his cell....he has a pic of his car in jis cell as screensaver instead of me. I expressed marriage and he went along letting me look at rings...we talked on living together but that like many things...when it came time to act on them he wld come up witu more hurdles to cross then when i did there wld be more. Finally he said he wont live with me because......................I leave to work at 4am daily and I get in a bad mood too much for his comfort . He wont marry me cause he says its too risky with me struggling with major depression and having episodes at times. These are things he had recently said. the time prior to this one i told him to not be selfish let me go so i can find a man who will marry me etc...he of course fed me crumbs of hope again and i stayed again and now this. I have got clean....kept my my own bills...stopped a handle on my aggression all at his request....remember..i jumped over all those hurdles to show him my commitment and cause i loved him. And here we are. He does help financially and has given me cars. I appreciate the financial help but i explain that i want to live together and get married...he says basically i should just be grateful for his generosity. Am I being an asshole here? He makes me feel like since i lived the life i have somehow im not worthy of those things. I should not dare gripe and thank the GODS that he chose a person like me. What do I do? I love him but he wont move forward and i know its me. I cant make more changes aside from being a whole different person. Its so heartbreaking. please be honest w yall thoughts. And thanks for reading
submitted by areyna1231 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 16:53 tiffysinterlude Got scammed on Craigslist for an apartment

Editing for location: I’m in Northern California just north of SF
Hi all,
So I’m going to go ahead here and admit to doing a stupid thing. I found an apartment on Craigslist last NovembeDecember and got in touch with the person who listed it about renting. Everything seemed legitimate for a situation where it was someone renting their guest house on their own.
I didn’t ask to see the property because I was working at the time and my commute was 1 1/2-2 hours each way to where I was living. I also was communicating with this person over Thanksgiving and was spending time with loved ones.
They wanted a security deposit and then two month’s rent. I was ready because I was in a relationship I did not want to be in anymore and in trying to get myself out of it I jumped at the first opportunity I could to leave. So I sent the money via Chase Quick Pay, the person gave me his email, his wife’s email, and all of the bank account info. We set a date for me to move in.
On the move in day, I showed up at the front house since I was supposed to be renting a house in the backyard. The woman who answered the door had no idea who I was or what I was talking about, but tells me this happens to her a lot and that people steal pictures of the house in her yard from her own rental listings and scam people. She told me she hoped I would report it to the police and legitimize her claims about people doing this. I was embarrassed and I told her I wasn’t going to call the police, but if she wanted to add me as a witness/victim to whatever she tells the police she can. We exchanged numbers as well.
So I left, called Chase, and the customer service person on the phone filed the incident under fraud. Apparently they also put a hold on this person’s account, because their names and bank account info were legitimate. Chase gave me my money back, too. The guy started emailing me asking me to call Chase and get the hold taken off his account, and that he would give me my money back if i did. I said no, because Chase had already credited it back to me (didn’t tell him that, all I said to him was “no thank you.)”
I thought it was done, then a few days later I hear from Chase, they have taken back the money they credited to me and determined it was a legitimate business dealing even though the guy scammed me. Since I had used Quick Pay and use my fingerprint to get into the app, they could do nothing for me.
I never heard from the guy again after that, and Chase didn’t really help me after they told me they didn’t have any protections against scams. So I’m wondering, what could I have done differently? Besides the obvious of not renting off Craigslist, especially without seeing the property. Is there anything I still can do? I know I went and did a dumb and irresponsible thing, but now I’m at a point where I really could have used that money back and I’m kind of stuck.
submitted by tiffysinterlude to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 04:43 x23896 Trust issues, among others - Am I overreacting?

My fiance (M30) and I (F24) have been together for 6 years and we just moved in together in March. We've had our problems like any relationship but I've been miserable since we moved in together. I think he expects me to be a mom more than a partner; I do all the grocery shopping, pay the bills, take out trash and recycling, do the dishes, walk our dogs and clean up/train/etc with new puppy, meal prep for both of us, vacuum, mop, clean living spaces, do his laundry, I even pack his lunch. All I ask is that he folds his clean clothes and scrubs the bathrooms. We originally split the chores much more evenly, until I actually moved in and he stopped putting any effort in. So that's part of the reason why I'm stressed all the time. Moving on ~ since we started dating, I used to find chewing tobacco tins and spit bottles in his storage bed. He lived with his parents until we moved out and claimed they were his dad's, and his dad did it in his room to hide it from his mom. Both of my parents have had issues with nicotine so that made sense to me. Fast forward ~ I started finding the tins and spit bottles at our apartment about a month ago. Each time I confront him about it, he says something different. And each time he also pokes holes in whatever reason he told me previously. A few days ago he lied about going out after I went to bed (told me he didn't) and he left a receipt on my desk that he bought some. I'm feeling helpless. Each time I've confronted him, because I've noticed how he pokes holes in his previous lies, I've said specifically that I'd be more upset if I found out he was lying, than if he was actually using it. He's came up with very believable lies on the spot each time and gone with those instead. We've had previous issues with things like infidelity, specifically serious flirting with other girls in public and on facebook (i.e posting 'I need 😘' on peoples pictures and worse) and me finding emails of him trying to hookup with people off Craigslist about a year in before I'd have sex with him. He explained those away as well. I'm hurt that he kept lying each time with the chewing tobacco, even though I gave him an out. I also said that we've come so far since the above issues and I've never felt more secure in our relationship/trusting of him, so I'd want him to tell me instead of lying about even bad things like this, so we don't go back to the way we were before. But he STILL actively made the choice to break my trust AGAIN without skipping a beat, made it seem so believable, and went on like normal. Now that I have solid proof with this issue, I'm fully convinced that he's an incredible liar and can come up with anything on the spot to keep me around. On one hand I feel like I'm being ridiculous because I'm questioning our whole relationship over this issue, on the other I feel like he's completely violated my trust to a point that idk if we can salvage it because it's making me call into question anything he's told me before with any issue we've had. I'm also finding myself questioning a lot of his own personal stories about high school/growing up because they're embellished to the point that they seem cringy Hallmark Movie fake. I haven't been happy for a while and have been hoping we'd get better with each step forward, like moving in together, but it seems each step has made things worse. He limited my social activities during college and study abroad so I've missed out on a lot. Aside from personal issues, our sex life is non-existent. He's had a yeast infection diagnosed since April but I noticed symptoms going back a year, so we haven't had penetrative sex for quite a while. His lying had made me question if he's had this due to poor hygiene like he said his doctor said (he works 12 hour shifts outside, he told me his doc said these infections are common for men with these jobs because of the heat) or if he's been cheating and caught something. He's always been a big guy (5'10", 275) which I love, but he's put on almost 125 since we started dating. I've gained weight too but I've made an effort to get healthy this last year and am back to 160 at 5'4". He's just not attractive to me whatsoever anymore and wastes all the healthy food I cook him. We've also just put our wedding off again, moving it to October 2022. I feel like I keep making serious life compromises for this guy and now I feel like he's a compulsive liar, like this isn't going anywhere and my life is on hold as long as I'm with him. I can't tell if I'm overreacting or if maybe this is just a smaller issue that's tipped the iceberg, but I feel ready to walk away. I haven't been in a serious relationship like this before and I know people say you need to put effort in to make love work, so I can't tell if this is just one of those things where I need to put serious work in and choose to stay in order to keep love alive and keep the relationship. Am I overreacting with the conclusions I'm drawing from this lie? Or am I in my head too much due to stress from moving in, COVID, and our sex life, and taking it out on him?
TL; DR: Caught my fiance in a 6 year lie and I'm feeling like I want to leave him. It was so believable that I'm not sure if he's a compulsive liar and lied to cover himself in other issues like infidelity, and I should walk away. Or if I'm just overreacting due to stress with COVID, his large weight gain, and just moving in together. People say you have to choose to be in a relationship and fight for love to make marriage work. I can't tell if this is one of those trials, or if it's just a bright red flag to finally walk away.
submitted by x23896 to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.17 17:50 Lovergrates Hookup Sites like Craigslist

Hello there
Are there any personal sites like Craigslist?
Missing Craigslist Personals? Craigslist Personals was an online community, where people were able to post ads looking for casual hook-ups.
It was hugely popular with those looking to have no-strings-attached fun, but sadly it wasn’t to last.
To the disappointment of many, in May 2018, Craigslist Personals disappeared from the UK site, following on from the US.
Nevertheless, try these super hookup dating sites
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submitted by Lovergrates to OnlineDatingCommunity [link] [comments]

2020.09.16 22:39 cityentrep 11 profitable business ideas you can build without code

Building your own tech-enabled business is more accessible than ever before.
No code tools are the superpower for the digital economy. Here's 11 profitable online business opportunities for anyone, even if you don't know how to code
1. A job board
💡 The idea
⚙️ How to build it without code
🧲 How to get and retain users
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

2. A custom app for real estate agents
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

3. A paid newsletter
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize

🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

4. A dating app for a specific niche
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?
5. A paid membership recipe app
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

7. An e-commerce store on Shopify
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

9. Start a local marketplace in your city
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

10. Build websites for local businesses
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

11. Productize content marketing for online businesses
💡 The idea
🧲 How to get and retain users
⚙️ How to build it without code
💰 How to monetize
🤔 Who’s doing it profitably?

If you liked this, you can check out the full article here, and learn more about how to build with no code at No Code MBA!
submitted by cityentrep to nocode [link] [comments]

2020.09.16 07:08 jiyajames94 Craigslist Personal Alternatives Site 2020 – 2021 Casual Sex Encounter - Meet Girls Dating

Craigslist Personal Alternatives Site 2020 – 2021 Casual Sex Encounter - Meet Girls Dating submitted by jiyajames94 to u/jiyajames94 [link] [comments]

2020.09.16 05:46 haunted_ruminations I feel like I'm going mad and can't fully trust my own thoughts! What would you do?

A couple of years ago I found out that my partner (boyfriend sounds juvenile considering how long we have been together) of 13 years was seriously frequenting strip clubs. He would go several times a week (just learned of frequency as well) and have sexual email exchanges with some (old info for me). Originally, something didn't feel right so I snooped and made the discovery of the emails which led to him telling me that they were strippers and not an actual affair. Fast forward to the present, I just found out that he also made out with at least one stripper while at the club and went on a date (sounds like she was fishing for a sugar daddy but he couldn't see that at the time). He was also concurrently putting up ads on Craigslist (this was before they removed personals) for women. Some of these women sent nude pics and were taken to the strip clubs as well. Anyway, this has nothing to do with me thinking strippers or other women are after him.
If you didn't know any of this stuff, you would think he was a super friendly, intelligent, funny, kind and great guy. And he is all those things. But this post will most certainly give a lopsided view of him as a whole person if I only list my complaints. Instead, this has more to do with my feeling extremely betrayed and insecure in my relationship with him and within myself. My mind keeps telling me that I will never be enough. I don't believe anything he tells me or that he is fully disclosing the truth since he has trickle truthed in the past. I do believe he is making some effort to be truthful, but part of me is scared that he is just going to hurt me again. It is exhausting trying to figure out what is true and feeling as if I cannot even trust my own judgement. After all, I was totally blind sighted by all of this. I don't know if I can get past it this time.
I really believed that we were fully committed to each other. This is someone I love. I thought we were best friends. I thought he really wanted a future with me, which he still insists he does. But his actions certainly didn't say that. I didn't find out about these things for a while after they actually happened so it feels as if I am expected to not hold onto it since it's in his past. But it's fresh for me and makes me feel that my life is a lie. And before you go blaming me for bringing this on myself for not putting out, please note that he was the one who withheld from me. I've been the sexually deprived one and I never betrayed him. Also, I am more than a decade younger than him and healthier than he is. Based on what I have seen online, the next thing people will say is that I brought it on myself if I gained any weight because men are visual and you need to keep yourself looking 20 for life. Yes, I have put on some weight but most of it was after these issues began. Also, since we have no kids or property together, there was nothing tying him down if he felt that he needed to date someone who fits a certain body type. Nevermind that he has been overweight for most of his life. I have been very good to him and feel that even if at any point he did not want to be with me that he should have parted with me without disrespecting me like this.
I keep thinking about how I ended up in this situation and that maybe I should spend my life alone for my sanity. I am the child of an alcoholic and drug addict and believe I have some codependent tendencies as a result. If I brought this on myself, I believe it has more to do with what I experienced in my youth and the patterns I may now seek out. Unfortunately, it turns out that they are basic patterns and not necessarily exact. My partner, if he is any kind of addict, is not an alcoholic or drug addict. I suppose that we all struggle with our own demons, but I don't feel strong enough, especially now, to handle his on top of trying to process all of this. Note that my partner and I have spoken once for several hours after the recent discovery. He has a difficult time discussing these things because it forces him to view himself in a negative light. I don't know that further productive conversations are in the more immediate future and I am not sure they would matter anyway. I suppose the strippers allowed him live in a far more pleasant illusion. Being real wasn't good enough. If I were on the outside looking in, I would probably just say to walk away, but it isn't so easy when you have a long history with someone and are emotionally entangled. Presently, we also live together. While I value honesty, please be kind in sharing your thoughts. I am already broken. I am sharing this here to avoid judgement from friends and family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, wisdom and advice.
submitted by haunted_ruminations to u/haunted_ruminations [link] [comments]

2020.09.15 07:10 Masark Masark's Guide to Trade - Sidewinder to Type-9 Heavy - Third Edition

So, you've just started the game and want to build wealth. This guide will take you from the Sidewinder and explain the process of both the trade in rare commodities, then later how to trade in bulk commodities and also present builds for trade ships from the first Adder up to the Type 9 Heavy. It is not necessary to strictly follow this guide in its entirety at once. Taking some of your accumulated profits to buy a second ship to explore or engage in combat is recommended so you don't burn out on one activity. You'll make sufficient credits after a few hours (particularly once to reach The Real Money). Or maybe you've been playing for awhile, but have been exploring or engaged in combat and now want to make money to further your pursuits in those fields or just want to try trading for a change of pace. In that case, you'll want to skip forward to a ship that matches your available means.

Welcome To The Galaxy Commander.

If you're a brand new player, you'll want to play around within the Pilots' Federation District for a while. There isn't really any worthwhile trading to do within the District, so missions will be your main source of money. I would recommend trying some of each kind of mission to get a feel for what each of them involves. All the missions in the District are deliberately simplified so you can perform them in your starter Sidewinder or one of the other early ships available in the District. Bounty hunting is another option, which will involve going to either a nav beacon or a resource extraction site (Avoid the Hazardous ones. These are maximum difficulty places where system authority ships won't go) and killing wanted NPCs. Watching for the sight of lasers firing in the distance, which will indicate that there are System Authority ships (space cops) in a fight with a criminal, then dashing over to help out and collect some easy bounties is a good money maker, though it can be a bit risky if you shoot a bit too much and end up catching the attention of someone with heavy guns.
When you advance in a rank, you will be offered a mission named "Exploring The Galaxy". Ignore that mission for now. That mission will send you out of the District whether you're ready or not and your District permit will be permanently revoked as soon as you land at a station outside of the District.
A recommended early ship progression would be first to the Adder, then to the Cobra MkIII. Both of these are good multipurpose ships suitable for doing anything. When selling a ship, it is advisable to sell off all the modules separately and downgrade all the core internals to the cheapest ones possible. This is because selling modules gets you 100% of their cost back, whereas selling a ship only gets you 90% of its value back, including for any modules it is equipped with. While this won't matter much in the District, where you're dealing with small ships and low rated modules, but that 10% loss can become quite significant later in the game, so it's a good habit to get into.
As an aside, when upgrading ships, be sure to keep the pulse lasers from your starter Sidewinder (store them before you sell it). Gimballed weapons seem to be hard to come by within the District (which seems ridiculous to me), so you're likely to reuse those lasers as you upgrade ships.
If you're sticking to cargo and courier missions and really want to get out of the Sidewinder, you could move up to the Hauler early on, then to the Adder and Cobra. Or if you like the combat stuff, the Eagle and Viper MkIII are worthy options. The Viper can also be used as an alternative to the Cobra MkIII. It can be outfitted almost identically to the Cobra below and will have only marginally less cargo capacity and jump range.
A Cobra MkIII outfitted with the District's finest parts will look something like this. I would recommend building your way up to that, then building a stockpile of credits (I would recommend a million or so, but more is always useful if you want to spend more time practicing) so you have the cash available to do further upgrades when you leave.
Now that you feel confident in your skills and are probably bored with the limited offerings of the District, take that "Exploring The Galaxy" we mentioned above. This mission will send you to a random nearby system.
Once you've arrived there and turned in the mission, I would recommend making your way to Celsius Hub in the HR 6828 system if the mission didn't send you there. This station has reliable outfitting so we can spend some of that money you saved up on making your ship better.
Now, upgrade your frame shift drive to a 4B (or 4A if you saved up enough extra), your shield generator to a 4D (3D if you're using a Viper), your class 3 cargo racks to class 4, your fuel scoop to 2B, and install a point defense turret on your second utility hardpoint. The end result should look like this. (A Viper will look like this). Whether to keep the weapons on or not is your choice. Dropping them will net you a little more jump range, but only a little (about 0.25ly), so keeping them is entirely fine if you don’t want to go unarmed.

A Commander's First Trade

Now you're ready to start trading.
For a first foray into trading, I would recommend rare trading. This is optional, as rare trading is less profitable than bulk trading, but I recommend doing a circuit or two of it as it gives you practical experience in navigation, long distance travel, fuel scooping, and how the mass of your cargo affects your ship's characteristics.
Rare trading involves Rare Commodities, which are special, unique commodities that are only sold from one specific station in limited quantities and are in demand everywhere else. Their prices are not subject to normal supply and demand forces, but rather are determined by the distance from the purchase station. The further you go, the higher the price gets, up to a point of diminishing returns at about 140ly and a hard cap at 200 or so. They are specially marked in the commodity market with a star, a different colour, and their unique names.
My recommended rare circuit is Rares Circuit 1. It is an old and proven circuit that has been around since shortly after the game's release. It's also quite simple, involving just grabbing as much rares as your ship will hold moving along the top or bottom line, then jumping to a sell location, at which point you sell everything you have. Then run along the opposite line, buying up commodities until full, then going to the opposite sell location, selling, then starting over. The Rajukru Diamond is another option for a rare trading route, though I personally find it excessively complicated, with juggling multiple commodities to sell at different locations.
Note that you want to make sure to select the "Fastest" routes when plotting rather than the "Efficient" routes. The latter will take the smallest jumps possible to save on fuel, whereas the former will take the longest jumps to get you were you're going quickly.
If you’re fortunate and a system is in a Boom state, you may be able to fill your hold right there without needing to use the other systems in that branch of the circuit.
As you get money, feel free to upgrade your ship modules, especially your FSD. As mentioned above, you get back exactly what you paid for it when you sell a module, so upgrades are never a waste. But always make sure that you have enough money on hand to cover your rebuy, as shown at the bottom-left of the home tab of your ship’s Internal panel. This can be thought of as your insurance deductible and is the amount you will have to pay to get your ship back should it get blown up. If you don’t have enough to cover that, you will be given a free Sidewinder like the one you started in, basically putting you back to square 1 (though with your remaining credits, ranks, etc. still intact).
Continue this for a run or two or until you feel like advancing.

The Exploration Alternative

Rather than going to rare trading at this point, Road to Riches offers an alternative means of money making and progression (it will also guide you to unlocking your first engineer if you have Horizons). This is an exploration-based method that involves going around within and near human inhabited space ("The Bubble") scanning known Earth-like and Terraformable planets. As among the changes in 2.4 was a very large buff to the value of these scans (to hundreds of thousands per planet), this is a highly effective means of making money, and it can be done in the Sidewinder you start with (with some upgrades). Down to Earth Astronomy has a good video on this subject. You can potentially do this in just the starter Sidewinder with a few upgrades, like this build. If you don't have enough money for the detailed surface scanner, you can omit that and just do the FSS scanning, then buy the scanner later when you've got a couple scans under your belt and turned in your first load of data. The Hauler makes for an excellent ship upgrade from the Sidewinder for this task, with much better jump range, more fuel capacity, and ability to fit a bigger fuel scoop. This is about the kind of build you would aim for in that regard and could afford after just a handful of scans. The Cobra MkIII can also be used, in a build like this, though it will end up with less jump range than the Hauler, making travelling between systems slower In addition to money making, this is highly useful for getting rep with factions (e.g. for obtaining the permits to Alioth and Sirius), as handing in exploration data will quickly raise your rep with the station's owners.

Fuel scoop usage

Your fuel scoop will automatically deploy and start collecting fuel when you come close enough to an appropriate star. Since you usually need to fly near a star to line up with your next jump destination, you can refuel on the way using "passive" or "rush" scooping. Just simply fly tightly in supercruise at full throttle around the yellow line (this indicates the area where your FSD cannot function. If you fly inside that circle and get too close to the star, you'll be yanked out of supercruise and take some damage. If this happens, you’ll have to wait 30 seconds for your FSD to cool down. Then you’ll need to point your ship directly away from the star (on an “escape vector”) in order to jump back to supercruise and continue what you were doing) until your can see your destination This will get you perhaps half a tonne of fuel per star. While this isn't enough to fully refuel from the jump, it does significantly extend your effective travel range.
While you're running the rare circuit, you will need to stop for fuel on the long legs to Witchhaul and Orrere even with the above rush scooping. Rather than finding a station (the graphic lists several inhabited systems along that line), we will just stop to do some serious scooping to refuel. To scoop for fuel, go to an O, B, A, F, G, K, or M class star (these are the first 7 class of star in the galaxy map when you select to show by star class. Mnemonics to remember these include Oh Be A Fine Girl/Guy Kiss Me (keeps them in order of temperature), and KGB FOAM (Putin in a bubble bath), among others). See this guide by the Fuel Rats for guidance with pictures. When you plot a route on the galaxy map and don't have enough fuel to make the entire journey without refuelling, it will mark the last scoopable star in the route before you run out as a "fuel star". Due to the above passive scooping, you'll likely get a jump or two past that before you run out, but you should open up the map and glance at the route every so often to check what your fuel and refuelling status is. If you don't see a yellow circle, go into your Internal panel, select the Ship tab, then the “Pilot Preferences” tab, and turn on orbit lines. A "fuel scoop active" display will appear in the middle of the cockpit display when you get close enough, showing the scooping rate (in kilograms per second), a fuel gauge, and your ship's heat level. You want to fly in and get the scooping rate to about 2/3rds of the scoop's maximum rate to prevent overheating (This is assuming a D-rated power plant. you can go higher if you have a higher rating power plant, which output less heat). For the 2B scoop you should have on your Cobra, that will be about 43kg/s Once you're near that rate, throttle down to zero. This will leave you sitting near the star scooping and creeping along at 30km/s. Now you just wait until you have finished refueling, then just throttle up to full, and pull away from the star. Wait until the "fuel scoop active" display has disappeared before activating your FSD for the hyper jump, or you will likely overheat and damage your ship.
As a last resort, if you've messed up and stranded yourself in an uninhabited and unscoopable system, contact The Fuel Rats. These guys are an awesome player group that assist stranded players by delivering fuel to them.

Dealing With Interdictions

It's likely you'll get interdicted at various times while trading. Your objective in the interdiction minigame is to keep your ship pointed towards the "escape vector", which moves around randomly. When you have your ship pointed on the vector, but your interdictor doesn't, you gain in the game and vice versa. If you fill your blue bar, you'll dump them out of supercruise while you go on your way. If you lose, you'll suffer a 30 second cooldown on your FSD, during which you'll be vulnerable to their weapons fire. So if you feel like you're losing the minigame, you should throttle to zero and surrender to the drop, which will only incur a normal 5 second cooldown before you can jump back to supercruise. Once you're in normal space, immediate hit your boost (default tab) to open up the range. Even if you can't get out of range, the damage of most weapons drops off considerably with distance. Now just wait 5 seconds until your frame shift drive has finished cooling down, then either jump back to supercruise or jump to the next system in your route. If you find yourself mass locked (this occurs when you're close to a ship larger than yours), fire your chaff to scramble their weapons, then choose whether to continue charging back to supercruise ("low wake") or to select another system to jump to ("high wake"). Intersystem hyperspace jumps are immune to mass lock from other ships, which makes it a good option if you've been interdicted by a ship much larger than yours, which will slow your supercruise charge to a crawl. Just select a random nearby system in your

On Armament

The builds I offer in this guide are all weaponless, relying on shields, chaff, and point defence to allow them to escape from pirates. Those of a more aggressive disposition may instead wish to remove any would-be threats rather than fleeing from them. While mines were briefly useful armament for traders, improvements in NPC AI have rendered them basically useless, with NPCs easily dodging them, even at low ranks. Thus, if one intends to act as a Q ship, you will want to select more conventional weapons. Lasers and multi-cannons have long been a standard loadout for the good reasons of being easy to use and providing a useful balance of thermal for shields and kinetic for hull. I personally use such a loadout on my trading Cutter.
Alternatively, the new ship-launched fighters are another option for pirate swatting if you have Horizons and are using a ship capable of equipping one. Equipping a hangar will require sacrificing at least a class 5 compartment (32t of cargo), and likely more as you'll probably want stronger shields than the basic A rated minimum shields I use on all this guide's builds. Further details on SLFs can be found in my writeup on the subject.

The Real Money

So you're tired of rare trading and are ready for real trading, yeah?
Go to and use the loop finder. Set the search to the following parameters
Now hit Find Loops. It'll sit there for a moment, then give you a list of loops, sorted by their profit. If you like the look of one of them, start running it. Otherwise tweak your search and hit it again.
If you run out of commodities on your loop, hit the finder and get a new one. This can be quite boring, so I would recommend Netflix (or another streaming site or your favorite torrent site) and a second monitor. You can often find the latter for cheap on second-hand sites like Craigslist, Kijiji, and others.

Time For A Real Trading Ship

Once you’ve collected about 5 million credits, you’ll be ready to advance to a new ship. Specifically, the Type-6 Transporter, otherwise known simply as the T6. This is a significantly bigger unit than your Cobra and will more than double your cargo capacity, and with it your profits. This is your general build.
I would recommend purchasing your ship at a system under the influence of Li Yong-Rui. The effect of this power on his subject systems is that all ships and modules are sold at a 15% discount, which lets you upgrade ships significantly sooner. This purchase price reduction also translates into a reduced rebuy cost, meaning that getting blown up won’t hit the wallet quite as hard. Conveniently, there is a station near Witchhaul that is within his sphere that has all the parts you need, specifically, Zamka Station in LHS 191. For all other builds in my guide, you can find an appropriate Li Yong-Rui station by hitting the $ icon at the top-right of the Coriolis display. That will send you to an EDDB search page. There, simply select Li Yong-Rui under the Powers dropdown and hit Find stations again. If you don’t get any results, remove modules (preferably starting with the cheapest ones) from the Station Sells Modules box and redo the search until you do get results.
Optionally, if you don’t mind staying in the Cobra for a hour or two longer or want to upgrade from the Type 6, you could opt to upgrade to an Asp Explorer (commonly known as the AspX) when you accumulate about 14 million credits. While it only offers a small increase in cargo capacity, it gives significantly better jump range, allowing you to run longer loops faster and thus improve your credits per hour.
Now back to looping!

Giving back relies on contributions of station data from users in order to keep its trade information up to date in the dynamic universe of Elite:Dangerous. The most popular tool to submit said data is the Elite:Dangerous Market Connector. This program pulls the commodity market data (as well as information on available ships and equipment) from the Elite Dangerous API server and sends it off to the EDDN (Elite : Dangerous Data Network, the system that eddb uses for its data). It can also record that data locally for use with other tools, as well as send star system information to the EDSM (Elite:Dangerous Star Map) and keep a local log of all systems visited.

Contingency Planning

In the event that you find yourself with little money, a low-capital method of rebuilding your funds is to use the galaxy map to locate a system in the Outbreak state. Stations in these systems will have very high levels of demand (and consequently, very high prices) for Basic Medicines. Use's Find Commodity tool to locate a nearby system with a decent supply of them, then start hauling them in. This will yield profits in the 2500-3000ct range. While this is less than for the above loop trading, it requires much less in the way of starting capital. A T6 full of high value will cost you several hundred thousand credits, whereas a full load of Basic Medicines will be less than 30,000, allowing easy rebuilding from poverty.

Further Progression

When you’ve acquired about 25 million, it’ll be again time for another upgrade. This time, you’ll be getting a Type-7 Transporter (aka the T7). This will nearly triple your cargo capacity. Though note that you’re moving up to a Large ship, which means outposts will no longer be trading destinations for you, so on the loop finder, you will want to set Landing Pad to L rather than Any.

An Optional Upgrade

When you’ve gotten your credit balance up to about 70 million, you may wish to trade in the Type 7 for a Python. While this will entail a minor downgrade in cargo capacity (16t), unlike the T7, the Python is a medium ship, capable of landing at outposts. This gives it the freedom to select sometimes-more-profitable loops involving those stations. Additionally, it’s a significantly more enjoyable ship to fly and I personally consider it one of the best-looking ships in the game.
You may wish to stay in the Python for awhile longer so as to make enough money that you can purchase the next ship outright without selling it. The Python is a highly versatile ship usable for many game activities, including being an excellent mining ship and great for background simulation play, so I would recommend keeping it around for your non-trading career.

The Ultimate Trading Ship

Once you have 110 million, you’re now ready for the ultimate trading ship in Elite:Dangerous, the Type-9 Heavy. This massive brick of a ship is the slowest and least maneuverable thing in the game, but it also carries a huge 752t of cargo in its depths for huge profits with every trip.

Beyond The Ultimate?

For progression past the T9, the Imperial Cutter is the only competition, with no other ship coming close to the cargo capacity of either of these ships. Purchasing a Cutter requires one to hold the rank of Duke in the Imperial Navy, which will take some effort to acquire. This post gives a highly effective method that will get you a Duchy within hours. I personally regard this ship as the best trading ship in the game. While it has slightly lower cargo capacity than the T9 (720t vs. 752t), it more than compensates for that with it’s superior jump range, better speed, stronger shields, and gorgeous looks.
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2020.09.15 01:08 Mq47R12n I was denied housing due to being transgender (KS)

So, w/o giving too much identifying info away, I'm transgender. Have been for ages. MTF, non-binary, they/them pronouns, but for all intents and purposes, a woman. I may be gender neutral, but I'm technically transfemminine, and constantly go above and beyond to look, talk, walk, dress, sound, and act like a woman at all times. I even have an extremely feminine legal name. I've been on hormones for long enough, done enough voice training, and undergone enough facial laser treatment that the majority of those I come into contact with initially perceive me as being female.
Anyway, I've been looking for a new place to live, and maybe about a month ago, I hit someone up via the number they provided via craigslist. The apartment this person was speaking on behalf of is roughly a twenty-minute drive from where I currently live, and is a rather well-known complex in the area. During our initial talks, they questioned me about my gender. I felt no reason to give any more info than I felt comfortable sharing, so I said that I was non-binary. They pressed me further, and I explained that if they had to think of it in binaries, they could think of me as being female.
Of course they ghosted me, but a few weeks passed and my search in all other avenues had come up relatively scant, and I got desperate enough to text this person again, asking if the property was still available and if I could come by sometime to check it out. Surprisingly, they responded and said that it was. We set up a date and time for me to look around, but about an hour-and-a-half prior to our scheduled time, they start asking me about my gender again, explaining that the apartment (a multi-room space I'd be sharing with a handful of other roommates) was "strictly female-only."
At this point, they were demanding to know my exact "situation," something I felt extremely uncomfortable doing. Any trans or gender-queer person could tell you that revealing the truth about your identity to anyone you don't fully trust, while completely your choice to do, has the potential to be extremely dangerous and instantly make you the target of all sorts of discrimination, hateful violence, ridicule, and sexual abuse. Beyond that, I didn't appreciate the tone of the person I was talking to (who at this point also began implying that they weren't a tenant at the building but rather merely connected to it somehow). I'll admit I got a little stubborn at this point as well, refusing to call myself something I'm not and instead sticking to my guns of politely explaining that I am and forever will be non-binary, but that I'm female in every way that counts and also giving just a little bit and calling myself a "non-binary girl."
Eventually, they blew up. There's no other word for it. They became extremely rude and explicitly asked, verbatim, if I "have a penis or a vagina," telling me not to waste their time if I'm "a dude," unless I'm confident I can "pass as a woman."
That's more or less where the conversation ended, and I blocked them out of fear, rage, and sadness. Writing this, especially that last part, was very difficult for me. I've been harassed and discriminated against more times than I can count, but this was one of the more extreme instances, and I'd just like to know if any sort of legal recourse is on the table for a situation this uninvolved.
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2020.09.13 04:17 WithSocks [LISTING] $1,600 - Amazing, bright, updated 1 bedroom in quiet neighborhood! 650 sq ft!

UPDATE 9/19: TAKEN! Thanks so much, everyone, for your kind words. I'll miss living here and I hope the new person takes good care of it!

HUGE, BRIGHT, SUNNY, QUIET, PRIVATE! Basically this place is just great. Take this beautiful one bedroom apartment from me. I'm having to relocate to Arizona rather abruptly and told my landlord I'd help find a new tenant for the apartment. Hopefully that's you!
Link to Craigslist posting with photos:
🌈 🐾 LGBTQ friendly, BIPOC friendly, pet friendly! 🌈 🐾
My cute cats are not included with the apartment. <3
It's a two story building on a quiet residential street somewhere on the border of Maspeth, Bushwick, and Ridgewood. Two apartments downstairs, two apartments upstairs. This one is upstairs (the one with the wreath, in the photos). Windows on both sides of the building, overlooking the street from the bedroom and the downstairs tenants' garden from the kitchen. You can do what I'm doing today and have the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom windows open to get a wonderful cross-breeze going and it's all I need on beautiful fall days.
The kitchen gets good morning sun, and the bedroom gets that beautiful golden hour glow in the evenings. There's a radiator in the bedroom, living room, and bedroom. I bought a big ol' window unit for AC and it works great keeping the bedroom cool, and a fan in the doorway pushes that cool air through the rest of the place easily. I don't need my AC unit so I'm selling that as well ($400, originally $490 and only 2 months old) and can leave it in the window if you take it!
As you can see, this place is great for plants. Your quarantine children will thrive here. Cats are welcome, dogs are unlikely to be accepted but I'd encourage you to ask the landlord if you want an exception. No pet rent, no pet deposit -- just be a good and responsible human. Also please spay/neuter your pets. Bob Barker thanks you.
The photos show half the apartment painted white and half still its old yellowish color -- it will all be fresh and white by the time you move in. The previous tenants seem to have had very creative children who expressed themselves freely on the walls, and I think whomever was cooking also took the same liberties with creativity. I've deep cleaned nearly everything at this point and it should be fresh and feeling brand new by the time you move in!
The neighborhood is mostly hispanic and Polish, and there's a great bodega right across the corner. McDonald's up the street if that's your jam, but really all you need to care about is Bella Donna pizza. Walgreens is within easy walking distance, and the very nice and very big laundromat is just a couple blocks up on Metropolitan. Trains are a little distant, but the buses are very close and take you right to the train lines in no time! It's about 10 minutes by bus to the Jefferson L. Easy bus ride to go play in Bushwick.
The apartment is available October 1st, but move-in date can be flexible within a few days.
There's no tricks, no catches. This place really is just a gem. Any questions, or want to come see it? Text or call my Google Voice number! 503-208-5120. I'll be available pretty much any time. Thanks, and welcome to, uh, Bushridgepeth!
submitted by WithSocks to NYCapartments [link] [comments]

2020.09.12 08:01 ObjectiveAttitude8 Real Estate Agents and the Internet - How to Buy and Sell Real Estate Today

Then and Now
Ten years ago, a search for real estate would have started in the office of a local real estate agent or by just driving around town. At the agent's office, you would spend an afternoon flipping through pages of active property listings from the local Multiple Listing Service (MLS). After choosing properties of interest, you would spend many weeks touring each property until you found the right one. Finding market data to enable you to assess the asking price would take more time and a lot more driving, and you still might not be able to find all of the information you needed to get really comfortable with a fair market value.
Today, most property searches start on the Internet. A quick keyword search on Google by location will likely get you thousands of results. If you spot a property of interest on a real estate web site, you can typically view photos online and maybe even take a virtual tour. You can then check other Web sites, such as the local county assessor, to get an idea of the property's value, see what the current owner paid for the property, check the real estate taxes, get census data, school information, and even check out what shops are within walking distance-all without leaving your house!
While the resources on the Internet are convenient and helpful, using them properly can be a challenge because of the volume of information and the difficulty in verifying its accuracy. At the time of writing, a search of "Denver real estate" returned 2,670,000 Web sites. Even a neighborhood specific search for real estate can easily return thousands of Web sites. With so many resources online how does an investor effectively use them without getting bogged down or winding up with incomplete or bad information? Believe it or not, understanding how the business of real estate works offline makes it easier to understand online real estate information and strategies.
The Business of Real Estate
Real estate is typically bought and sold either through a licensed real estate agent or directly by the owner. The vast majority is bought and sold through real estate brokers. (We use "agent" and "broker" to refer to the same professional.) This is due to their real estate knowledge and experience and, at least historically, their exclusive access to a database of active properties for sale. Access to this database of property listings provided the most efficient way to search for properties.
The MLS (and CIE)
The database of residential, land, and smaller income producing properties (including some commercial properties) is commonly referred to as a multiple listing service (MLS). In most cases, only properties listed by member real estate agents can be added to an MLS. The primary purpose of an MLS is to enable the member real estate agents to make offers of compensation to other member agents if they find a buyer for a property.
This purposes did not include enabling the direct publishing of the MLS information to the public; times change. Today, most MLS information is directly accessible to the public over the Internet in many different forms.
Commercial property listings are also displayed online but aggregated commercial property information is more elusive. Larger MLSs often operate a commercial information exchange (CIE). A CIE is similar to an MLS but the agents adding the listings to the database are not required to offer any specific type of compensation to the other members. Compensation is negotiated outside the CIE.
In most cases, for-sale-by-owner properties cannot be directly added to an MLS and CIE, which are typically maintained by REALTOR associations. The lack of a managed centralized database can make these properties more difficult to locate. Traditionally, these properties are found by driving around or looking for ads in the local newspaper's real estate listings. A more efficient way to locate for-sale-by-owner properties is to search for a for-sale-by-owner Web site in the geographic area.
What is a REALTOR? Sometimes the terms real estate agent and REALTOR are used interchangeably; however, they are not the same. A REALTOR is a licensed real estate agent who is also a member of the NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS. REALTORS are required to comply with a strict code of ethics and conduct.
MLS and CIE property listing information was historically only available in hard copy, and as we mentioned, only directly available to real estate agents members of an MLS or CIE. About ten years ago, this valuable property information started to trickle out to the Internet. This trickle is now a flood!
One reason is that most of the 1 million or so REALTORS have Web sites, and most of those Web sites have varying amounts of the local MLS or CIE property information displayed on them. Another reason is that there are many non-real estate agent Web sites that also offer real estate information, including, for-sale-by-owner sites, foreclosure sites, regional and international listing sites, County assessor sites, and valuation and market information sites. The flood of real estate information to the Internet definitely makes the information more accessible but also more confusing and subject to misunderstanding and misuse.
Real Estate Agents
Despite the flood of real estate information on the Internet, most properties are still sold directly through real estate agents listing properties in the local MLS or CIE. However, those property listings do not stay local anymore. By its nature, the Internet is a global marketplace and local MLS and CIE listings are normally disseminated for display on many different Web sites. , and to the local real estate agent's Web site. In addition, the listing may be displayed on the Web site of a local newspaper. In essence, the Internet is just another form of marketing offered by today's real estate agent, but it has a much broader reach than the old print advertising.
In addition to Internet marketing, listing agents may also help the seller establish a price, hold open houses, keep the seller informed of interested buyers and offers, negotiate the contract and help with closing. When an agent provides all of these services it is referred to as being a full service listing arrangement. While full service listing arrangements are the most common type of listing arrangement, they are not the only option anymore.
Changes in the technology behind the real estate business have caused many agents to change the way they do business. In large part, this is due to the instant access most consumers now have to property listings and other real estate information. In addition, the Internet and other technologies have automated much of the marketing and initial searching process for real estate. For example, consumers can view properties online and make inquires via email. Brokers can use automated programs to send listings to consumers that match their property criteria. So, some agents now limit the services they offer and change their fees accordingly. An agent may offer to advertise the property in the MLS but only provide limited additional services. In the future, some real estate agents may offer services in more of an ala carte fashion.
Because of the volume of real estate information on the Internet, when people hire a real estate agent today they should look at the particular services offered by the agent and the depth of their experience and knowledge in the relevant property sector. It is no longer just about access to property listing information. Buyers and sellers historically found agents by referrals from friends and family. The Internet now provides ways to directly find qualified agents or to research the biography of an agent referred to you offline. One such site,, is quickly becoming the LinkedIn or Facebook for real estate agents. On this site an agent can personalize their profile, start a blog, post photos and videos and even create a link to their web site for free. Once unique content is added to their profile page the search engines notice!
Some have argued that the Internet makes REALTORS and the MLS less relevant. We believe this will be false in the long run. It may change the role of the agent but will make knowledgeable, qualified, and professional REALTORS more relevant than ever. In fact, the number of real estate agents has risen significantly in recent years. No wonder, the Internet has made local real estate a global business. Besides, Internet or not, the simple fact remains that the purchase of real property is the largest single purchase most people make in their life (or, for many investors, the largest multiple purchases over a lifetime) and they want expert help. As for the MLS, it remains the most reliable source of real estate listing and sold information available and continues to enable efficient marketing of properties. So, what is the function of all the online real estate information?
Online real estate information is a great research tool for buyers and sellers and a marketing tool for sellers. When used properly, buyers can save time by quickly researching properties and, ultimately, make better investment decisions. Sellers can efficiently research the market and make informed decisions about hiring an agent and marketing their properties online. The next step is to know where to look online for some of the best resources. Internet Strategies
In the sections that follow, we provide strategies and tips on how to use the Internet to locate properties for sale and research information relevant to your decision to purchase the property. There are many real estate Web sites from which to choose and although we do not mean to endorse any particular Web site, we have found the ones listed here to be good resources in most cases or to be so popular that they need mention. One way to test a Web site's accuracy is to search for information about a property you already own.
Finding Real Estate for Sale
Despite the widely available access to real estate listings, many believe that MLS databases continue to offer the most complete and accurate source of real estate information. Most MLSs now distribute content to other Web sites (primarily operated by real estate agents). An excellent starting point for MLS originated content is the national NAR Web site,, which is also the most popular web site for searching real estate listings. Virtually all local and regional MLSs have an agreement with to display much of their active listing inventory.
Some local and regional MLS systems also have a publicly accessible Web site. However, to get complete information you will most likely still need to find a qualified local REALTOR. Many local real estate agents will also provide their customers (via email) new listings that are input into the MLS that match their predefined criteria. This can be very helpful to a busy buyer.
There are also many Web sites that display both real estate agent listed and for-sale-by-owner properties. Some of the more popular Web sites include and These sites offer other services too. For example, is best known for its instantaneous property valuation function and for providing historical information. Another source of properties for sale is the state, regional, and local Web sites associated with brokerage companies; for example, or Search engines like and classified advertising sites like also have a large number of active real estate listings.
One key difference between these sites is how much information you can access anonymously. For example, at you can shop anonymously up to a point but then you will need to click through to the agent's Web site for more information. Many new real estate search engines allow you to sift through listings without having to fill out a form. The best strategy is to browse a few of the sites listed above to find geographic areas or price ranges that are interesting. Once you get serious about a property, then that is the time to find a qualified REALTOR of your choice to conduct a complete search in the local MLS.
It also never hurts to search the old-fashioned way by driving through the neighborhoods that interest you. There is no substitute for physically, not virtually, walking the block when you are making a serious investment decision. In this sense, real estate is still a very local business and standing in front of the property can lead to a much different decision than viewing a Web page printout.
Valuing Real Estate
As we mentioned, one of the most popular real estate tools is's instant property valuation. Just type in an address and in and you get a property value. It even charts the price ups and downs, and shows the last date sold (including price) and the property taxes. There are other sites that provide similar tools such as and Unfortunately, many people use these estimated values alone to justify sales prices, offers and counteroffers. However, these are only rough estimates based on a formula that incorporates the local county sales information. These estimates can swing wildly over a short period of time and do not appear to always track actual market changes, which are normally more gradual. In addition, these estimates do not automatically take into account property remodels or renovations or other property specific or local changes. This is not to say these sites are not useful. In fact, they are great starting points and can provide a good ball-park value in many cases.
When it comes to getting a more accurate value for a particular property, there are other strategies that are more trustworthy. One is to go directly to your county's Web site. More often than not the county assessor's area of the Web site provides sales and tax information for all properties in the county. If you want to research a particular property or compare sales prices of comparable properties, the local assessor's sites are really helpful. When you visit a county's Web site you are getting information straight from the source. Most counties today publish property information on their Web sites. Many times you cannot only see the price a previous owner paid, but the assessed value, property taxes, and maps. Some county assessors are now adding a market and property valuation tools too.
Given the importance of valuation to investing, we are also going to remind you of the two most important (non-Internet) valuation methods: real estate agents and appraisers. Working with a local REALTOR is an accurate and efficient way to get value information for a property. While one of the primary purposes of the MLS is to market the active property listings of its members, the system also collects sales information for those listings. REALTOR members can pull this sales information and produce comparable market analyses (sometimes called CMAs) that provide an excellent snapshot of a particular property's value for the market in a particular area.
Finally, the most accurate way to value a property is by having a certified appraiser produce an appraisal. An appraiser will typically review both the sold information in the MLS system as well as county information and then analyze the information to produce a valuation for the property based on one or more approved methods of valuation. These methods of valuation can include a comparison of similar properties adjusted for differences between the properties, determine the cost to replace the property, or, with an income producing property, determine a value based on the income generated from the property.
The Neighborhood
There are many ways the Internet can help you get the scoop on a particular neighborhood. For example, census data can be found at You can also check out the neighborhood scoop at sites like or review local blogs. A blog is a Web site where people discuss topics by posting and responding to messages. Start by looking at and for a directory of blogs. has a "Heat Map" that shows how hot or cold each neighborhood is based on prices, sales, or popularity among the sites users.
When it comes to selling residential property or rental properties that cater to families, the quality of the area school district makes a huge difference. There are many Web sites devoted to school information. Check out or Most local school districts also have their own Web site. These sites contain a variety of information about the public schools and the school district, including its district demographics, test scores, and parent reviews.
Finding the Right Real Estate Agent
A recent addition to the Internet boom in real estate information is Web sites that let real estate agents market their expertise and local knowledge by displaying their professional profiles and socially networking with blogs. You can search to find an agent with a particular expertise, geographic area of specialization, or an agent offering specific services. The web site lets users quickly and easily find an agent with the right expertise using keyword searches and clean and simple agent profiles. also enables agents to post personalized blogs, photos and videos to help consumers find the best agent for their needs. Plus, many agent profiles include a direct link to the agent's web site where you will likely find the local MLS listings.
Maps and Other Tools
The Internet has made mapping and locating properties much easier. To get an aerial view or satellite image of a property or neighborhood, go to or or visit to see how walk-able a particular property is. These sites can give you an idea of the neighborhood characteristics and the types of entertainment, restaurants, and other facilities that are within walking distance of the property. provides a view at an angle so you can see the sides of houses and Maps.Google even gives you a 360 degree street-level view for certain neighborhoods. If you have not tried one of these satellite map Web sites, you really should if only for amusement.
Final Thoughts on Internet Strategies
The Internet is a very effective research and marketing tool for real estate investors but is not a replacement for a knowledgeable experienced real estate professional. The Internet can save you time and money by enabling quick and easy property research and marketing options. Sites like also help you efficiently find a REALTOR who fits your buying or selling needs.
Always remember, when it comes to Internet strategies for real estate: More knowledge is better. You need to use the Internet to build your knowledge base on a target property or to find a real estate agent with expertise you need. However, the big caution here is that the Internet should not replace human judgment and perspective, expert advice or physical due diligence-keys to successful investing.
submitted by ObjectiveAttitude8 to PrestigeWaterfordav [link] [comments]

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2020.09.10 21:50 pnkdt193 Looking for a roommate! 2 bed/1 bath (+balcony) on Brainerd Road in Allston

I'm currently looking for a roommate for my two bedroom apartment. I'm happy to be flexible with move-in dates. The rent is $1150 each. Heat and hot water are included, and we'd be splitting the electricity/gas/internet (about $70 each a month). Ideally I'd like to find someone who is also making some COVID-19 lifestyle adjustments so we both stay healthy!
About me: I'm 28 and female. I'm a friendly and social person and most of my hobbies are fitness related. I also love video games and watching movies and am generally pretty nerdy.
About the apartment/room: It's in a great location on Brainerd road in Allston right near Brookline and walking distance from Coolidge Corner. The building itself is really well maintained. The kitchen was updated this past winter so there are stainless steel appliances and a dishwasher (woo!). I'm also happy to share any of my kitchen stuff. The bedroom that's available is the larger of the two, really bright (4 windows) and can easily fit a queen bed, desk, dresser, etc. Laundry is coin operated and in the basement. I've really loved living here for the past 3 years.
Here's a link to the Craigslist ad I posted for pictures:
Please reach out if you have any questions or interest in the room! I'd also take any suggestions in regards to help finding a roommate as well. Thanks!
submitted by pnkdt193 to bostonhousing [link] [comments]

2020.09.10 20:23 PutridMarionberry The Cost of Having a Baby

During my pregnancy I kept a log of all of everything I spent related to my pregnancy and preparation for the baby. I've included a brief explanation of each expense. If I got a used item or was gifted something, I tried to give a rough estimate of the retail cost of the item new for context. I added some notes about why I bought a specific item. Feel free to ask any questions!
For some added context: I live in a HCOL area, with a high sales tax (Seattle), which drives up the cost of items purchased new. This is my first child, so we didn't have any baby stuff before I got pregnant. Our combined annual household income is roughly $350k. We definitely did not go into this with the intention of trying to prepare for baby as cheaply as ptossible, but we did try to save money/avoid buying new where we could. There is a very active Facebook parenting group near me and I was able to acquire lots of used items for free or at a reduced price through that group. I also have very good health insurance and my job has very generous (paid) maternity leave so saving for leave was not a factor.
All medical bills were paid out of an HSA. We also converted our large walk in closet to a nursery (which involved installing a window, ripping out the shelving, and repainting the room). The project was stopped and restarted several times due to COVID-19 and ended up being finished about 3 weeks before I went into labor. I did not include these expenses as part of the baby expenses. Because our nursery is very small, we were pretty constrained in what kind of furniture would fit which made it generally harder to find used furniture.
(Note: to make the chart easier to read, I deleted my date and category columns. I've included summary totals at the bottom).
EDIT: I realized I missed two medical bills (one for my follow-up blood work, TDAP vaccine--which is given late in pregnancy to provide some protection for the baby--and second Rhogam shot), and the baby's bill for the (routine) medical care she received at the hospital. I have added those in and updated the totals.
Purchase Purchase Price Estimated Cost to Buy New Notes
Expecting Better and Crib Sheet by Emily Oster $29
Prenatals $30 You're supposed to start taking them before you're even pregnant. I started about 2 months before we started trying.
Prenatals $10
Ginger supplements $9 For morning sickness
Prenatals $54 My brand of prenatals were on sale, so I bought a whole bunch.
Ashkenazi Jew Genetic panel - partially covered by insurance $610 Partially covered by insurance--this is my portion. I am of Ashkenazi Jewish descent. Thanks to inbreeding back in Europe, we have a really high incidence of a lot of nasty genetic diseases (like Tay-Sachs). I opted for the genetic screening panel to see if I was a carrier for anything for my own sanity.
Belly oil $22 Supposed to help with stretch marks
Pregnancy body pillow $45
Skin care items $47 I normally use a tazarotene gel as my only skincare product but stopped because it is not recommended during pregnancy. I began breaking out like CRAZY during the first trimester (seriously, I felt like I was 15 again) so I invested in a bunch of pregnancy-safe skincare products.
Baby class $300 8 week labor and newborn care class. Ended up being virtual due to COVID and not worth it.
ErgoBaby carrier and newborn insert $0 $170 Gifted by my parents for the holidays (~$170 new)
Rhogam Injection - partially covered by insurance $27 You can have a different blood type than your baby (depending on the father's blood type) which is no big deal for Rh positive people. For Rh negative people, if the baby is Rh positive, you can create antibodies that could hurt the baby/future babies. The Rhogam shot addresses this. I am O- and had some light bleeding late in my first trimester, so I got the Rhogam shot earlier than usual in my pregnancy since you need to get it as soon as there is any chance of intermingling blood. I'll need to get a second one later in my pregnancy
Maternity Clothes $0 $150 I got a bag of maternity clothes for free from my local FB parenting group--a bunch of tops, a few pairs of maternity sweatpants, one pair of shorts, and a pair of pants. It's mostly casual so I can't wear it to work, but I'll need casual clothes for the weekends!
Maternity Clothes $330 Motherhood Maternity near me was going out of business, so I bought my entire work maternity wardrobe, a pair of jeans, and some extra nursing clothes (everything was 40-80% off). I am an attorney so I need well-fitting professional clothes, especially since I have an arbitration scheduled for May (when I will be 7 months pregnant). Of course, due to COVID, I ended up working from home and mostly wearing my usband's sweatshirts so some of this barely got worn. But I did end doing my arbitration (via Zoom) so at least my maternity suit got some wear.
Used snoo + extra sleep sacks and extra sheets $750 $1,400 We got a used Snoo and lots of accessories from someone in my local FB group. Plan is to resell it when we're done having kids.
Maternity bras $48 My boobs have grown (and my band size is increasing, as my rib cage expands) so maternity/nursing bras were a must.
Diaper Bag $69 We got a Patagoina ultralight tote bag to use as a diaper bag on the recommendation of people in my local FB parenting group. Definitely unnecessary, but the bag was on sale at REI and I couldn't resist.
BOB jogging stroller $0 $500 Hand me down from SIL
BOB stroller chicco carseat adapter $0 $65 Hand me down from SIL. Only downside is that we're locked into getting a Chicco infant carseat (which is not a huge deal)
Glider $0 $600 Hand me down from SIL. Literally the most comfortable chair I've ever sat in
Baby Bjorn travel crib $0 $250 Hand me down from SIL
Baby bjorn bouncer $110 $200 Purchased used from my local parent group ($200 retail). We live in a small house and the bouncer folds up, so this seemed like a good fit. The used ones on Craigslist and FB market are all in the $120-$150 range, so the price seems in line with what we'd want to pay.
The First Years Newborn to Toddler Tub $22
Dog Trainer $135 We decided to hire a dog trainer to work with us in preparing our dogs for the baby. I don't know if we would have bothered, except that one of our pups tends to be very anxious and has been skittish around children in the past. He's overall the sweetest dog and calms down once he gets used to a new stimulus, so we're not overly concerned, but we do want to make sure we're properly introducing a baby and desensitizing him to children. This cost covered a 2+ hour initial session, plus a bunch of training resources.
Maternity underwear 5 pack $22 It's turns out all of my underwear have seams that are cutting painfully into my hips as I expand.
Maternity underwear 5 pack $22 More maternity underwear since it turns out I need more than 5 pairs of underwear that fit
Blood draw $12 Bill for my alpha fetoprotein blood draw and test
Skip Hop Pronto Changing Station $21 Recommended by a friend--basically a travel-size changing mat with some pockets that we can toss in to the diaper bag.
Genetic testing (Cell-Free Fetal DNA) (not covered by insutance) $33 My insurance didn't cover it, but we decided to do the Cell-Free Fetal DNA Test (screens for Down's Syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities, with a high degree of confidence). We called around to try and get the best out-of-pocket price since our insurer would have charged us $2k. Our quoted price was $500, but for some reason the bill came in at $836. Sigh. I have zero desire to deal with the provider, but my spouse spent a few hours arguing about the bill and it got flagged for review. We eventually got a new bill for $33. Unclear if/when we will be getting another bill.*
Running belt $33 With the COVID-19 outbreak, running outside has become a real necessity for my mental health since I am no longer leaving the house (husband is doing all the shopping) except that running also feels like death. I ordered a maternity running belt to see if that helping with the pelvic pain I've been having while running
Swaddles, sleeping gowns, onesies, burpclothes $103 A local store is running a $5 and under sale as they're being crushed during the COVID-19 outbreak. I'm generally avoiding buying baby clothes since I know those are easy to acquire used, but I want to support a local business. This cost is for 20 separate items + tax -- swaddles, burp clothes, a few onesies, and a bunch of sleep gowns.
Anatomy ultrasound (my portion) $360 This is my cost for my 20-week "anatomy ultrasound" where they look in detail at the baby and baby's development. Good news is that everything looks normal so far.
Maternity leggings $61 I already bought two pairs of maternity leggings to wear under dresses but neither is great for athletics. My pre-maternity leggings don't fit anymore (RIP), so I buy two pairs of athletic maternity leggings (1 long pair, 1 capris) to work out in.
Chicco Fit2 Car Seat + extra base $218 $429 The BOB stroller adapter we have is compatible with two basic Chicco car seats--the KeyFit and Fit2. The Fit2 is supposed to last longer, through age 2, so it costs more. Since we have two cars the kid will be in regularly, we'll need two bases plus the car seat. I got a free car seat base for the Chicco Fit2 from someone in the local parents group I joined, which doesn't expire until 2023 (retail cost of an extra base is $129). Getting the free extra base makes us decide to get the Fit2 model instead of the KeyFit. There's a sale online for the Fit2 car seat--it's normally $299 retail, but is only $197 after discounts ($217.99 with tax). I was nervous anyway about buying a used carseat.
My brest friend nursing pillow & car seat cover $0 $40 Gifted by someone in local FB group.
Cloth diaper covers (5x), socks, baby anti-scratch mittens, white noise machine, car seat mirrors (2x), pacifiers, snappi cloth diaper fasteners, noise frida, booties $234 I have a running list of baby "essentials" that we'll need early on and are less likely to find used. I am getting a little antsy (very antsy) with just feeling generally unprepared, since our nursery is still a closet and the world is falling apart. I decide to go ahead and buy the things that I think we'll need that we won't be able to get used, especially with delays in shipping times due to COVID-19. Note on diapering: we decided to use a cloth diaper service for our baby until the kiddo goes to daycare, but we still need to purchase waterproof diaper covers and snappis (modern cloth diapering involves an inner absorbent layer and an outer waterproof cover; the service we're using provides and lauders the inner layer).
Nursing covers, bottles, bottle brush & drying rack, nursing pads, nipple cream $79 Feeding and breastfeeding supplies. (In hindsight, I should have waited on this stuff. Right after I bought it, there were lots of posts of people in my FB group giving away bottles, drying racks, etc.)
Nail clipper, diaper rash cream, baby soap, travel wet bag for cloth diapers, drool bibs, and baby on board car decals $57 A few of the straggler miscellaneous items on my list that I didn't expect to be able to get used (turns out I didn't need to buy the drool bibs, we ended up getting lots of bibs in the baby clothes we were later gifted).
Sun hat $14
K'tan wrap $10 $50 Got a used K'tan wrap from the FB group (normally $50). I've been told we may want a softer wrap than the Ergo for baby-carrying at home.
Breast pump $50 $200 Someone in my local FB group is selling a minimally used cordless Spectra S1 breast pump, which is the model I want and isn't covered by my insurance (insurance will cover 1 pump, but I don't get to pick it and I know I'll need a second pump anyway for work....if I ever get to go back to working in an office). The pump retails for $200.
Changing pad for dresser $30 $65 We decided to go with a changing pad/dresser combo rather than a changing table for space saving reasons. Someone in my local FB group is selling her changing pad topper (with extra waterproof covers and holder to screw into the dresser) for $30.
Activity mat, baby swing, large bag of 3-9 month clothes, bumbo seat, Fisher Price Sit-me-up chair $0 $250 Haul from my local parenting FB group--all stuff that people were giving away free. Everything is in pretty good condition. The clothes are super gendered, which probably is not what I'd chose to buy, but as far as I'm concerned, anything goes for free stuff. I've been trying not to buy clothes generally, since I know my mother won't be able to resist getting lots of cute little baby outfits and you can usually get used baby clothes for free/cheap.
Baby clothes $0 $100 Another bag of baby clothes from the FB group. Mostly in the 3-6 month range.
Cloth diaper cover $15 Sigh. My mom complained that none of the diaper covers I bought (all of which have super cute patterns) would "go" with the outfits she was getting the baby. I think she is mostly joking, but I give in and buy an extra white diaper cover as well. For the days when we're being fancy, naturally.
Prenatals $14
Liquid Iron $54 Apparently I'm severely anemic! This is not super uncommon for pregnancy, but my numbers are BAD which can lead to some pregnancy complications. My doctor recommends that I either do IV iron infusions (ugh) or immediately start to massively increase my iron intake with diet changes and supplements. She recommends a liquid iron supplement because apparently it's easier to absorb and thus more likely to actually help. The supplement is EXPENSIVE though and also totally disgusting.
Baby clothes $0 $200 I pick up a HUGE box of 3-12 month clothes from someone in my local FB parenting group to round out baby's wardrobe for year 1 of life. (We'll probably still need some outwear, but for regular clothes we're pretty set now!).
Baby clothes $0 $150 An (unexpected) haul of baby clothes. My husband's coworker gave him two large bags of newborn baby clothes. At this point, I am pretty sure we have more clothes than we possibly need, though at least it's not all newborn stuff. Once we have a dresser in the nursery, I am going to wash everything, inventory what we have, and pass on what we don't need to a friend who is having twin girls.
Audio-only baby monitor $34 We have a Nest cam to repurpose as a baby monitor, but want an audio-only one for traveling and internet outages.
Dresser $50 $300 A friend is selling some old furniture, including her childhood dresser. It's smaller than what I had initially wanted for the nursery and needs to be repainted, but definitely a lot cheaper than buying new (the dressers I've been looking at online given our space constraints are $300 at the CHEAPEST and that's for something that's isn't solid wood that we'd have to assemble). We're going to use this as a changing table and will get some some storage shelves or something to make up for the smaller dresser. I end up painting the dresser in mid-June, while 35 weeks pregnant (after we finished converting our closet to the nursery) which was a challenge since it involved a lot of bending down and crouching. But I was able to repurpose some extra paint we have from painting the trim in nursery so we don't end up spending any extra money on paint.
Waterproof mattress cover for the snoo mattress, extra sleep sack (small), extra mattress, four extra sheets $10 $80 Someone in my local FB group is getting rid of a bunch of Snoo accessories--sleep sack, sheets, extra mattress, waterproof mattress cover. I'm mostly interested in the sleep sack ($30 retail) and mattress cover ($20), but she wants to clear out everything and offers me the whole bundle for $10. We now have like 7 sheets for the snoo which seems excessive, but then again I do hear that babies are great at getting things dirty.
Bottles & Fisher Price on the go baby dome $0 $80 More stuff from the FB group--this is a small portable bassinet/play space (folds up flat) with a canopy to protect baby from sun/bugs/curious doggos. It seems like it will be helpful for traveling (can be used as a sleep space), hanging out outside, and keeping baby separated from the dogs in our house. The same person also gave me some extra bottles.
Sign up fee + 4 weeks diaper service $155 I sign up for the baby diaper service we will be using (the service picks up, washes, and drops off cloth diapers). There's a one time start up fee ($30) and a 4 week minimum. After that, we'll be billed in 4 week increments. We can cancel at any time after the first 4 weeks. We'll get a pre-birth delivery in a few weeks, then let them know when the baby is born and they'll start weekly drop offs and pickups. They also provide a diaper pail and liner as part of the service which is great!
Hooded baby towel with bear ears $19 I am blaming hormones for this. I fully intended to avoid buying baby stuff just because it's "cute"...but someone sends me the link, we haven't bought baby towels, and it's SO CUTE. Definitely an unnecessary purchase
Postpartum supplies--witch hazel pads, peri bottle, numbing spray $21 Postpartum supplies
Diapers & wipes $46 Even though we're cloth diapering, I want to have some newborn disposable diapers on hand since I've been told that that cloth diapers often don't fit newborns particularly well. We'll need the wipes regardless.
Burp clothes $20 8-pack of burp clothes
Waterproof blanket $26 Purchased at the recommendation of my friend who has a newborn--she recommended for protecting furniture and whatnot if we're breastfeeding/hanging out on the couch.
Postpartum supplies $0 $50 I get a large bag of postpartum supplies from someone in my FB group (pretty much everything I bought, plus a lot of pads, mesh underwear, etc.) I won't use all of this (most likely) and will pass the extra on to my friends who are due later than I am.
Belly lotion $9 Ran out of belly oil so I buy some lotion this time.
Rug $0 $200 My mom (this is her first grandchild) is way more into interior decorating than I am. She gets us a washable rug for our nursery. It is super cute and goes with our nursery theme. We ended up with very aqua walls--we had to choose a paint color online w/o getting a swatch because of the pandemic. I like the color but it is definitely a little more vibrant than I thought. We're leaning into it though and going full underwater theme.
Third Trimester Rhogam shot, TDAP vaccine, bloodwork $235 Medical bill for the gestational diabetes test, TDAP vaccine (you get it late in pregnancy, and it provides some immunity to the baby), and second Rhogam shot. I failed the GD screen and had to do a second diagnostic test (which I passed).
Armoire $0 $400 Another "I'm so excited for a grandchild!" gift from my mother. She buys us a small Pottery Barn armoire for our nursery (with some extra shelves) so we'll have a place to hang some of the baby's clothes.
Newborn diaper covers and Moby wrap $25 $150 Regular diaper covers for cloth diapers don't always fit newborns well. I had been planning on waiting to see if our baby was on the bigger side (and thus could fit into the covers we already bought) instead of buying newborn diaper covers. But someone is selling 15 newborn diaper covers on my FB group for $20 and I snatch those up. I also get a Moby wrap (another kind of baby carrier) for $5--we don't really need another carrier, but the K'tan is probably too small for my husband (those wraps size to the adult human, not the baby) and he'll be able to use this one at home if we can figure out how to tie it.
Bookshelf $0 $40 Curb find on a walk around my neighborhood! A small white bookshelf that will fit our nursery perfectly!
Pail for dirty wipes and garbage bags $38 Our diaper service provides us a pail for cloth diapers, but we also need a small pail for the dirty wipes
More blood work $16
Haakaa Pump $44 A friend strongly recommended the haakaa, which is a manual breast pump. I initially didn't see the point of a manual pump, but she explained that you can use the pump on whatever boob the baby isn't nursing on and prevent spillage. Makes sense to me. The cost is technically for two pumps with covers, since they are sold individually. (ETA--I don't know why I got two, you really only need one. I end up giving one away to a friend who is also pregnant)
Baby clothes hangers $15
Teething toy $7 Teething toy. We definitely don't need this now, but it was very cute
Diaper covers $10 $75 Someone is getting rid of some Thirsties diaper covers (same brand we already bought)--6 for $10. We already have 6 (non-newborn) covers, but I feel like having extras would be a good idea. They're $12.50 each normally (pre-tax).
Costs associated with labor and delivery $2,598 This is my portion of my L&D costs. I think the total bill was something like $25k but I am incredibly fortunate to have good insurance.
Baby clothes, stepstool, baby towels, toys, bottles, bottle warmer, boppy baby lounger, high chair, crib mattress, bath supplies, books, high chair. $0 $650 At my mother's insistence, I end up doing a baby registry. I had not intended to do a registry at all (or have a baby shower) since we are financially comfortable. But because of COVID, a lot of family members that would have offered in-person help won't be able to do that and keep asking her what we need. Although I don't feel like we "need" anything, she (accurately) points out that people will start sending unsolicited gifts and we're likely to get a lot of baby clothes, which we definitely do not need. I ended up registering for a lot of smaller toys, some feeding supplies, some "would be nice but not necessary" items, and some items we were planning on buying when the baby was older. We end up getting a high chair, baby towels, assorted toys, some bath supplies, a few sleep sacks for when she outgrows the Snoo, a crib mattress (but no crib lol), a bottle warmer, bottles, and a Boppy baby lounger from our registry as gifts. We also end up getting a few more sets of baby clothes, a BEAUTIFUL handknit sweater, wooden step stool with her name, a teething necklace, and some baby books as gifts.
Baby's medical bill for care in hospital $434.18 Routine care, no complications.
Hospital parking $30 Two days parking.
Partner's hospital means $50.25 Hospital food for my spouse for the 36 hours we were in the hospital (5 meals). Due to COVID, he wasn't allowed to leave and reenter my room, so he had to stay with me the whole time in the postpartum room and couldn't get food from home or anything other than the hospital room service. My meals are part of the hospital stay coverage.
Grand Total: $8,003.15
Total Cost to Buy Everything New: $13,584.16
"Savings" (Gifts & Buying Used): $5,581.01
Totals by Category:
Education $328.73
Pregnancy $776.51
Medical $4,380.58
Baby Supplies $1,180.58
Breastfeeding $173.28
Birth $101.16
Nursery $927.31
Other $135
Totals by Time Period:
Preconception $58.73
First Trimester $1,097.31
Second Trimester $2,375.22
Third Trimester $1,1338.28
Birth $3,133.61
We "saved" a lot by getting some of the big ticket items (stroller, car seat base, travel crib, glider) free from family or people in our local parenting group. We were also lucky to be able to get a lot of smaller items (like a bouncer, swing, activity mat, nursing pillow) free or used. My inclination that we should not buy baby clothes was 100% correct--we got a ton of clothes for free (used from my local group and as gifts from family), with the only downside being that most of the stuff we got is very gendered and not what we'd necessarily have chosen given a choice. (Overall, I think I bought a grand total of 3 onesies and 10 sleep gowns for baby--we got everything else as gifts/for free). We decided that while we'd try and purchase gender neutral stuff, anything goes as far as free stuff because it is clearly cheaper and better for the environment to reuse something rather than buying new stuff on principle. We were also pretty lucky we are to live in a corner of Seattle with a thriving parenting group! We got a lot of stuff from total strangers free or at greatly reduced prices. We also ended up getting a lot of stuff towards the end of my pregnancy from a registry, which was not something I had initially intended, and because it was late in my pregnancy, almost everything that we got from the registry was stuff that I considered non-essential (or things I expected to acquire after the baby was born and probably would have gotten used).
We definitely splurged for some things that we probably don't really need (like the Snoo). I also ended up spending more money that I should have on work maternity clothes. I ended up wearing them very minimally due to COVID-19. I can't really blame myself for that--if I had continued to go into the office during my pregnancy, I definitely would have used them. Although having now managed 4 months or so of pregnancy in sweatpants and my husband's t-shirts, I probably could have purchased fewer outfits. I did end up doing an arbitraiton via Zoom while 7 months pregnant, so at least my maternity suit got some use! I'm planning on hanging onto everything since we are (at the moment at least) planning on having a second kid.
We are planning on reselling at least the Snoo when we're done having kids. We'll see how much of this stuff we end up using or reselling.
submitted by PutridMarionberry to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

2020.09.10 17:10 grossmaer36 Are there any personal sites like Craigslist?

Hello there
Are there any personal sites like Craigslist?
Missing Craigslist Personals? Craigslist Personals was an online community, where people were able to post ads looking for casual hook-ups.
It was hugely popular with those looking to have no-strings-attached fun, but sadly it wasn’t to last.
To the disappointment of many, in May 2018, Craigslist Personals disappeared from the UK site, following on from the US.
Nevertheless, try these super hookup dating sites
submitted by grossmaer36 to BestDatingWebsites [link] [comments]

2020.09.09 05:02 movie002 I'm just going to put my story here.

I've been struggling with this fetish for a long time. It's taken me to some pretty dark places thankfully I've been able to pull back from the precipice of ruining my life. Lately I've noticed old feelings coming back, that's why I feel the need to share my story.
Some necessary context: as I am writing this I look like your average 27 year old dude, 6'4" 250 lbs. I... in no way look feminine girly etc, and am 100% secure in my identity as cis-male bisexual dude.
This fetish started almost a decade ago, back then I had the stereotypical fem-boy physique... aside from being really tall; I could be passable with minimal effort. I maintained a slender 210-225 lbs frame until about 23/24 years of age. At the time financial struggles kept me from exploring that stuff in the way I wanted too. I had experimented with various dominant men (usually older) and women on the internet and occasionally in person. In the end; due to lack of commitment on both sides it was never all that successful. For years I was stuck in this cycle of binge and purge id buy feminine clothing, experiment with chastity play, and occasionally hookup with someone on craigslist. (FYI CL still had a personals section)
Back then I was scared; absolutely NO ONE knew about this side of myself. I would often arrange meetups on Craigslist, but usually chicken out when shit got too real. In hind sight I flaked out all the time because; A) that shit was sketchy! And B), I had no-one! no backup if things went wrong! no support network if I ever caught some kind of STD!
Around the age of 24 I started dating a trans girl. For the sake of not using real names i'm going to refer to her as Mary. Put simply, this chick was TOXIC! Obviously the relationship did not last, but It started in the first place because I was also kind of a toxic person at the time. Mary was one of the very first people who was close to me that and knew of this side of myself. She was not only supportive, but she encouraged me to explore my feminine side. For the first time in my life, I felt safe to explore that side of myself! The problem was I was getting older and less passable by the day. The only logical course of action at the time was to start HRT. So I did... I was on 5 mg of Estradiol and 20 mg of Spiro a day for about 4 months. When some of the mental changes started to kick in, I stopped immediately. Its hard to put the experience into words; but I knew immediately it wasn't what not what I wanted. In the weeks after that experience I started developing a different outlook on life. I started taking more responsibility for my actions, pulled my career out of the slump it was in at the time. Meanwhile Mary's shit attitude and toxic personality grew more repulsive by the day... So I dumped her ass! :D
Fast forward almost 4 years, and I'd like to think I've become a successful person. I got a good paying, stable job, in the middle of a pandemic. I bought a shiny new car this year, and to top it off I met a girl recently that I mesh really well with. You might hate me for saying this; but 2020 is shaping up to be a great year for me. That said, I noticed some old feelings coming back recently.
What I've found worked for me over the past 3+ years, is to not deny my the existence of my "feminine side" I've tried; but I can't kill it... I can, however, channel it into things that are not destructive to my life. Men's Fashion being one example. The girl i'm dating right now knows my story (for the most part) Shes allowed me to explore these feelings in a way that's actually healthy. Perhaps by exploring these feelings I've brought a... dark side to the surface as well? I am not quite sure on the why. I do know that old feelings are coming back, its more intense than I've dealt with in the past... and I know how destructive this shit can be...
submitted by movie002 to TGandSissyRecovery [link] [comments]

2020.09.08 18:15 DEFAULTsetting66 TIFU by having a good conscience.

TLDR at the bottom.
Obligatory, didn’t happen today, but yesterday.
So I’ll soon be driving for the first time, and so my mom and I have been shopping around for a car. She gave me a $5k budget, (in her words: so you can get something decent looking, but not cost me a kidney if you crash into something.) so I’m shopping around on the internet on AutoTrader and Craigslist, and come across my 2nd Dream Car, a C3 Corvette. For exactly $5k Of course I immediately get my phone and call the number, and a sweet sounding old lady picks up. I ask her for a date and time I can go check out the car, and we agree to do it on Labor Day. The day arrives and I rush over there as fast as my mom’s Tacoma can carry me. It’s PERFECT. 50k miles, Red, FACTORY paint, scratch free, pristine engine, stock rims (the best rims, we can really fight about that) it’s has a manual transmission, and the interior is almost perfect. Of course through all of this, I never once bother to ask the question on my mom’s mind. “Why so cheap?” I hear her ask.
“Well, the car belonged to my late husband, it’s was his little kid life crisis impulse purchase. I have no need for it and the kids don’t want it either so I thought I’d sell it. I’m not a car person so I looked up similar aged cars and they’re around 2 thousand, and I figured since this was a nice car back in it’s day, and I at least know miles count for a lot in a cars cost, I figured this was an appropriate price”
I look at my mom and she’s giving me that look. She KNOWS it’s worth way more, since her brother is a car guy just like me, and I was ranting about what a deal this was on the way over here. And honestly, I didn’t want to swindle this lady either.
“Ma’am, not to sound rude but you should probably let someone else handle the sell. This car is worth much, MUCH more than that, and I can’t, with good conscience buy it from you”
I show her some other listings of similar model years and they’re priced around $20 to $30k, and the cheapest one being 15. She says she had no idea, and thanks us for telling her. She says she’d give us a call if she was willing to sell it to us for the original price, I say thanks, and leave with my hopes in shambles.
Fast forward to today, I get a call from her.
“Hey miss, how are you?”
“Good, thank you for asking, I was just calling you to let you know I’d be keeping the car, I asked other people for their opinion and they said to keep it.”
I can feel my soul leaving my body
“Good for you miss, I hope everything works out, and I think that the longer you hold on to it, the more valuable it’ll become, maybe it’ll be a sort of family heirloom from your husband to the grandkids”
“Aww, thank you for the idea, I’m really sorry to do this to you, but I thinks it’s what my husband would’ve wanted.”
We make small talk, say our goodbyes and hang up.
No dream car for me...
TLDR: Saw an ad for my 2nd dream car online at a really low price, turns out the owner is an old lady who didn’t know the value. I tell her, she decides to keep it, and I get a Camry.
submitted by DEFAULTsetting66 to tifu [link] [comments]

2020.09.08 11:38 LIS1050010 60 Super Simple Ways to Save Money

Why Is Saving Important?

Unless you’re fabulously wealthy, it’s likely that large expenses in your life will require planning in order to purchase. Define what you’re saving for to help keep you on track when it comes to avoiding unnecessary purchases. For example, if you remember that your goal is to save $100,000 over the next ten years in your child’s college fund, it will be a lot easier to stay out of the drive-thru line.
Consider that you may need to save up for pricey necessities like a car and a home. The average American will own a total of six cars in their lifetime, so it may be a good idea to start saving for your next vehicle now, even if you don’t currently need one.
Finally, it’s essential to save for retirement from your first job to your last. According to a recent study, most Americans near retirement have only save twelve percent of the recommended amount for retirement. That may be because getting to a place where you have extra income to save takes time, but may also be because many people don’t practice good money-saving techniques from an early age.

Save Money Long-Term

Even if you’re trying to save money for more immediate reasons, you may be able to accomplish much when you plan for life-long savings. Plus, understanding the strategies and mindset that make you successful long-term will also help you penny pinch every day. Here are some ways to save money over time:
1. Create a Budget
The first place to start when trying to save money is to assess how much you really have and where that money is going. Consider using the 50/20/30 rule to create a budget. The 50/20/30 rule states that fifty percent of your income should go to essentials like rent and food, twenty percent should go savings, and thirty percent should go to personal expenses like entertainment.
2. Save Automatically
If you have to manually transfer money into your accounts, you may be more likely to forgo saving altogether. Try having a portion of your paycheck automatically deposited to a savings account to keep you contributing consistently.
3. Build an Emergency Fund
Some experts recommend setting aside six months worth of living expenses in case of emergencies. This helps you avoid going into debt if you ever lose your job or have to pay unforeseen medical expenses.
4. Track Your Spending
You may be surprised about where your money is going. Keep a record of what you spend to see how small expenses add up. You may not think that coffee every once in a while makes a dent in your savings, but seeing the sum of your purchases may change your mind.
5. Avoid Debt
Pay off your cards every month to keep your debt from piling up. If possible, avoid going into debt in the first place by spending within your limits and keeping your credit card at home. With a savings built up, you won’t have to put unexpected expenses on a card.
6. Make a Plan
Break your long-term goals into smaller, more manageable milestones for the month and year. With an idea of what you need to do short-term, you can plan how much you need to be saving, and set the right limits on your non-essentials budget.
7. Use the 30 Day Rule
When you want to make a large purchase, think on it first. Write down what it is and how much it costs, and if after 30 days you still feel it’s necessary, purchase it.
8. Consider Refinancing Your Mortgage
You may find that you can save money over time by changing the rate of your mortgage. Remember to talk to a financial advisor before signing onto any major financial contracts.
9. Create a Savings Goal for Retirement
Some experts recommend saving fifteen percent of your income each year for retirement. Determine how much you’ll need and break that down by decades to make sure you’re hitting your goals over time.
10. Maintain Your Home and Car
Keep your home in good shape and perform regular maintenance on your car to protect the value in your assets. Saving money by skipping or doing cheap repairs likely won’t be worth it in the long run. Your car’s manufacturer will have guidelines for it’s maintenance, but home manufacturers don’t provide the same. Common recommended tasks include: having arborist check the trees on your property to ensure their sturdiness, painting your home to maintain it’s exterior, checking your foundation for signs of cracking, and cleaning out your gutters to keep the flow of water off your roof.
11. Invest in Quality
Think about spending a bit more money on things that will last you longer. For example, it can be worth it to buy some higher quality clothes (as long as they’re not for growing kids), because you won’t have to buy new ones for a long time.
12. Start Saving for College Early
If you know you’re going to pay for college down the road, some people recommend creating an account specifically for this expense as soon as your child is born. There are even accounts specifically designed to save for education expenses including 529’s and ESA’s or College Savings Accounts.
13. Fully Utilize Your Employer’s 401k Match
If your job matches the contributions to your retirement savings up to a certain percentage of your salary, you should consider contributing enough to max out your employer’s matching benefit. Otherwise, you’re just turning down free money.
14. Consolidate Debt
Talk to a financial advisor about your options regarding your debt. You may find that consolidating multiple high-interest payments into one lower interest payment is an effective debt management strategy.
15. Consider Accounts and Equities
You should always thoroughly research your options or talk to a financial advisor before making any riskier investment moves. You may want to be aware of certain accounts that gain interest on your money through equities. While things like stocks, mutual funds, and Certificates of Deposit shouldn’t be your only form of savings, they may provide attractive returns on your investment over time.

Save Money on Necessary Expenses

The least fun things to spend money on are the ones you actually have to pay for. But you may be surprised how simple and fun it is to find a little extra cash in your bills. Here are some easy ways to reduce your expenses each month:
16. Switch to a Cheaper Cell-Phone Plan
With the prevalence of wifi hotspots, the standard smartphone owner today only uses on average 1.6 gigabytes of data per month. Interestingly, most service providers’ cheapest data plan provides more than that. Track how much data you’re actually using and stop paying for more than you need.
17. Lower Your Utility Bills
Evaluate whether or not you’re being as conservative as you can with your utilities. Some quick tips to save money on your bills include: Insulating your windows with a simple sheet of bubble wrap, unplugging appliances you’re not using, and turning the faucet off when you brush your teeth.
18. Time Major Purchases Around Sale Periods
Because demand fluctuates by the season for certain items, you can time your big buys to rake in the savings. For example, the end of December can be a great time to buy a car because dealerships want to meet end-of-year quotas.
19. Cancel Your Gym Membership
Many of the exercises you do at the gym can be done at home with a bit of creativity. You can watch YouTube tutorials for ideas about home workouts, go for a run in your neighborhood, or swim laps at your community pool.
20. Use Coupons
Not just in newspapers and junk ads anymore, coupons are available on company websites, apps like SnipSnap, and online. Before you go out shopping, check your phone or computer and increase your savings.
21. Share Entertainment
Similar to swapping clothes, ask to borrow your friend’s DVDs and CDs, or share the payments for a joint streaming account.
22. Plan Your Groceries
Make a list of what food you’ll need for the week, keeping in mind what meals can be made from the ingredients, and don’t buy anything that isn’t on your list. It helps not to go to the grocery store hungry or with a picky eater. Meal planning is another great option that can help you save time and money while making it easier for you to eat healthily.
23. Understand Food Spoilage
Americans waste about one pound of food every day, adding up to enough food to feed 2 billion people annually. This is in part because many people don’t know that “best by” dates indicate the last day of peak quality, not safety. Many foods are still safe to eat weeks after the date on the package, so take a second look at the food inside the package before tossing it.
24. Inflate Your Tires
Properly inflated tires can increase fuel economy by over three percent. In addition, tires inflated to the correct pressure last longer and fail less often. If your car doesn’t have tire sensors, consider buying a pressure gauge and checking the pressure yourself.
25. Carpool to Work or School
Ask around or organize a carpool spreadsheet at work to see if anyone lives near you who you can swap rides with. For your kids, enlist nearby parents or friends’ parents to help lighten the burden of the school drop-off lines.
26. Lower the Temperature on Your Hot Water Heater
Your water heater can waste anywhere from $36 to $61 dollars a year if its set too high — usually above 140 degrees. Set the temperature around 120 degrees to save money and reduce mineral buildup in your tank.
27. Replace Your Incandescent Light Bulbs
Some experts estimate that LED bulbs can save you up to $3,260 over their lifespans. Even if some of your incandescent lights have already been replaced, run a quick inventory of your home to see if there are any other light sources you could be saving money on.
28. Install a Programmable Thermostat
Products like Nest allow you to turn your AC or heat down while you’re away or sleeping in time with the hottest or coolest parts of the day. Even if your thermostat isn’t programmable, try turning your system down or off when you leave for the day so your AC isn’t fighting natural changes in temperature. This is both economic and environmentally friendly.

Save Money by Spending Less

If your needs are a little more short-term, here are some ideas to keep from spending the money you already have, and make what you do spend go farther:
29. Try Envelope Budgeting
Credit cards help you avoid the pain of purchase, which may cause you to spend more. With cash you become more aware of what you’re spending. In addition, you can divide your cash into envelopes with allowances for different purchases, which will ensure you don’t spend too much in one area.
30. Calculate by Hours
When trying to decide if something is worth buying, try thinking of the cost in terms of how long it takes you to make that money. This can help you get a sense of the true value of your money.
31. Think Twice About Sales
While some sales are good deals, there’s no sale that’s going to cost you less than not buying the item at all. When purchasing an item on sale, ask yourself if you would have bought the item if it were full price, and if the answer is no, skip it.
32. Buy Used
Local thrift stores and online auction sites like eBay offer everything from clothes to electronics at stellar discounts. You can get slightly used high quality items at a fraction of the cost of their newer counterparts.
33. Go to the Library
Some people don’t realize that their local library is a great resource for free entertainment, especially for kids. Many offer movies and games in addition to books, as well as free events and readings for kids every week.
34. Buy Generic
Check the ingredients on brand-name medicines and foods, as they’re frequently the exact same as the less expensive options out there. If you can’t detect any difference in quality, you don’t necessarily need to buy the name brand.
35. Eat In
It can be tempting to eat out every night, but you can make eating at home more appetizing by making eating at home delicious, fun, and easy. Try to cooking new recipes, setting up a picnic, or simply meal-prepping.
36. Use the 24 Hour Rule
This is similar to the 30 day rule, but for less expensive purchases. Wait a day before buying a small item and you may find you didn’t want it after all.
37. Designate No-Spend Days
Challenge yourself and your family to go one day a week without buying anything, from your morning coffee to a movie ticket. You’ll reduce your spending and become more aware of how mindlessly you make small purchases.
38. Go Outside
The great outdoors is almost always free, and with the added benefit of free exercise, the outdoors is an incredible resource. Try going on a walk around your neighborhood or taking a day trip to a local sight.
39. Take Public Transportation
Try replacing your drive to work one day a week. This can save you both money and time because you can get other things done on the bus while saving money on gas and wear and tear on your car.
40. Clothes Swap
Before you buy a new outfit, get some friends together and swap them old pieces you don’t want anymore. You can also exchange kids clothes and toys with neighbors or family members.
41. Drink Less Bottled Water
Bottled water is almost 300x the cost of the same amount of tap water and the average American spends about $100 a year on it. Consider switching to a filter, and let it pay for itself.

Save Money by Creating Extra Income

According to a recent survey, 35% of Americans say lack of income is the main reason they aren’t saving money. So If you’re already living frugally but are struggling to save, here are some easy ways to add income without adding too much work:
42. Sell Your Extra Stuff
Save money on your new clothes, housewares, and electronics you purchase by selling your old ones. Check your closet for clothes you haven’t worn in months and for old electronics. There are many places to sell unwanted items online, including eBay, Craigslist, or Facebook Marketplace. You can also hold a traditional yard sale if you want to sell in bulk.
43. Rent Out Equipment
Why pay for your tools or equipment when they can pay for themselves? Apps like ToolRent or PeerRenters let you get paid for sharing items like drills, whiskers, and cameras with the community. Consider listing anything you have that has a specialty use.
44. Rent Out an Extra Room
You can reduce your own housing host by adding a short-term resident. List your spare room, or even couch on an app like AirBnB to save money on your rent or mortgage.
45. Sell Your Parking Spot
If you live in an area where parking can be expensive or hard to come by, consider renting out your spot to people during the day while you’re at work. Use this money to save on your own car’s expenses and parking.
46. Trade Gigs With a Neighbor
While not monetary income, you can earn favors by trading jobs with your neighbors or friends. For example, you can take turns babysitting your friend’s kids, or watch your neighbor’s pets while they’re out in exchange for them mowing your lawn.
47. Monetize Your Passion
Make your free time earn you money as well. If there’s a hobby or skill you do for fun, consider selling the fruits of your labor. If you love photography, try selling photos on stock websites, or if you find yourself writing at the end of the day, try starting a blog.
48. Become a Mystery Shopper
You can save money on services, meals, and experiences in exchange for completing honest feedback to companies. This can be especially effective if you use it to do things you’d normally do.
49. Work at Your Favorite Place
If you already spend a lot of time at soccer games or at the bar down the street, become a referee or bartender on the weekends and you will save money on game tickets and drinks. Plus, it won’t won’t feel like work.
50. Consider Signing up for Cash Back Offers
Take advantage of the fact that some major credit cards offer cash back on purchases. You can also use a service like Ebates, which partners with retailers to give you cash back. Keep in mind that these services are designed to motivate you to buy things you wouldn’t normally buy, so use caution.
51. Pet-Sit
If you’re an animal lover, getting paid to play with other people’s animals could be an excellent option for you, and help you save additional money on entertainment. Depending on the owners’ needs, you may even be able to keep their pet at your home, cutting down on the work for you. Apps like Rover make it easy to connect with owners.

Save Money With Easy Hacks

No matter your stage in your money-saving journey, these hacks are easy and interesting, so there’s no reason not to try them out:
52. Round Up Your Payments
Like a virtual piggy bank, some accounts allow you to round up every purchase to the next dollar and put that money in savings. Check whether or not your bank offers it, as it is an easy way to save money and you’ll likely hardly notice.
53. Use a Savings Calculator
Putting money away consistently is hard enough as it is, so utilize an easy online tool that can calculate interest over years and help you determine how much your savings may grow in the years to come.
54. Switch Your Ceiling Fan Direction
That’s right, your fan can go either clockwise or counterclockwise thanks to a tiny switch, usually on the side. The angle of the blades mean that the fan is actually more efficient going clockwise in summer as this pushes a breeze around. Use the counterclockwise direction in winter to pull heat towards the ceiling and around the walls.
55. Purchase Discounted Gift Cards
Websites like CardPool allow users to sell gift cards they’ll never use, for slightly lower than their values. Consider buying gift cards to places you frequently shop to save instantly on everything you buy there.
56. Teach Yourself Skills You Would Otherwise Pay For
Take advantage of online tutorials and articles that can teach you to do small things you would otherwise pay for. You can learn anything from how to change your own oil to how to make a bouquet.
57. Make Your Passwords Reminders
If you force yourself to type a phrase on your online shopping account that reminds you of a goal saving date, you’ll be less likely to overspend. You can also make your password things you’re saving for such as “beachvacation2018” or “2020weddingbudget.”
58. Delete Your Card Number from Online Accounts
Make it harder to buy impulsively from websites by deleting your credit card information in their system. This will force you to consider your purchase as you type in your number.
59. Utilize Your Savings Account
Your current bank may offer a savings account with interest that can make your deposits easy to make and retrieve. Some even offer the ability to divide up the money in your savings account by what it’s for. Help motivate yourself to save by watching you the funds for your specific goals grow.
60. Use a Budgeting App
Consider using an app like Mint that keeps track of your spending goals, expenses, and budgets. This can be an easy way to see how you’re doing and get more familiar with your save. Since this money is relatively easy to access, consider using this account to save for unexpected expenses.
You may not become rich overnight, but the key to amassing a huge savings is patience. Saving money comes down to becoming aware of your unconscious habits and making a consistent effort to change them. Anyone can be more financially responsible in a few simple steps, using the many resources available to them.
submitted by LIS1050010 to selfreliance [link] [comments]

2020.09.07 05:37 floppychickn Jawsh’s monologue during one of CallMeCarson’s editing stream (cuts in and out)

I’m here to do standup. I’m here to tell you about that one time I went to the store and I wanted to buy uh new cereal brand but there were only four cereal brands. I’m looking to buy—so I go to the store, and I- and I want to buy another brand of cereal but there’s only 4 brands of cereal there’s Kelloggs, there’s general mills and uh the other two brands of cereal and I- and I’m here to tell you about my experiences there’s the Kroger brand – I don’t like the Kroger brand, I know it tastes the same but I feel like they do something to it to make it cheaper, I doubt it’s real food. Um please don’t leave please don’t leave please don’t leave dude I- this is my first gig that I’ve ever gotten, c’mon dude please don’t go please don’t go, I’m trying so hard man, I try so hard I try so hard for you I try so hard for you. See, Carson, Carson wasn’t actually losing, he wasn’t he wasn’t leaving, sorry not losing, he wasn’t leaving because he thought I wasn’t being funny, um he was leaving because he w- he was using as an excuse to use the bathroom or something and so I’m um um he by- he he did it to insult me as well but you see, I’m funny. They call me funny man because I tell jokes, they call mr funny man, uhh I have a twitch channel and a youtube channel, you should subscribe and follow those because I’m funny. And I tell jokes on those streams um I make- I’m like they call the- uhh you can call the best of carson video the best of josh because look at me – they call me man of the hour because I’m man of the hour and however many minutes long this video is. Basically, I uh am not being paid at my job as an intern at the Kroger and I need the money to pay for my daughter to go to college. She’s- she hasn’t been born yet as I don’t have a- have a mate. But you know, it’s j-just just called uh just called uhh preparing for the future. Which is what I’m doing now on on- by streaming on twitch. I’m looking for a Mate, preferably of female gender within the age range of 18 to 20 years old and uhh I’m looking for a soulmate. I’m looking for any woman’s love or affection, nothing nothing nothing brings me joy anymore. And I believe the cure-all to be the-the warm embrace of a woman. Please. I’m so desperate. You missed a riiide carson. Did someone clip it? someone better have clipped it. You better put that clip in chat cause this is soo important. Hm, okay I dunno about that. It’s called just chatting carson and I’m just chatting. Mr Films? 19 subs? That’s not a very round number. Could you gift one more sub? ~walking out from our house Christmas eve, you may say there’s no such thing as santaaa, but as for me and grandpa, we believe~ Do you like jake spakenheimer? Or grandpa spakenheimer? Or grandma spakenheimer? Or doofus, which I believe is the name of the dog? Anyway, chat let’s get back to business, I’m looking for a— -- a bride to be — -- tue a statue — -- I just need the love, I just need the love of a woman — -- and I’m such a sad, unbelievably sad person and I need love in my life uh, particularly that of a female ummm who has umm amiable features, umm well put together structure, umm and a Whole lot of heart. And a affinity for video games. I just want a gamer bride. P-preferably one that’s partnered on twitch, and is verified on twitter, so like, you know, like you get like the full package. I want her to wear nothing but swimsuits. Um men’s, like like 1930’s men swimsuits where there’s like black and white stripes all the way up and down. And I want her to marry me the day I meet her in Las Vegas, California. And we’re going to go to the place and Elvis is going to be the person, the the guy who gives me my wedding license. My my my my my bride will be beautiful in her 1930’s men’s swimsuit she’s going to be and also there’s going to be one of those 1930’s changing tents that are also on the beach and there’s going to be one of those swimsuit cops as well to make sure her swimsuit is the appropriate length as to not draw eyes of any um any unwanted parties. Especially the Elvis Presley that’s going to be getting us hitched. Ummm I’m just looking—so that’s my, that was um that was my ultimatum. If I don’t get that, within the allotted time of 3 months, uuuh, I’m going to uhhhh Stop. Everything. Until I get what I so desire. Please Please Please Please any women out there who fit the description I have so graciously provided, message me on Instagram, I’ll be sure to respond if you are hot, if you’re not hot ummm uhh. I’m sorry I don’t know what to tell you. You-you’ll know, you’ll know if you’re not. Anyway, that’s me. I’m looking for a woman of with a strong foundation of concrete and rebar and like like a like alike a stone, I need a rock. I need a breadwinner. But it needs- I need a lady, who will- who will carry me up the stairs and tuck me into bed and is between the age of 18 to 20 years old and is attractive to my personal specifications. I just want- I just want a high five and a slap on the ass from my beautiful bride-to-be and then I will- she can have all the money and all the cars and all the house—I’m just looking for the love of my life, I’m gonna put an ad in the classifieds, I’m gonna make a craigslist post, I’m gonna be- I’m gonna- the ad’s going to read: “looking for a structurally super — -- hot babe -- -- the stock market has crashed, the world is coming to an end — -- um in case you didn’t know the star wars films are actually based off of the time period of the 1940’s uuuh late 1930’s, mid to mid 1940’s and the star wars films have.. s like cause the stormtroopers -- - uh r saga, the national treasure saga with with the um Nicolas Cage as the main character who’s name I can’t remember is it- I think it was Benjamin — -stroying I need a woman to hold me and I’m so Desperate — - uuh very comprehensively directed by- I’ve not seen the second national treasure and— -- the dark nature of the harry potter films after the first two… but point is I- she can’t be into the harry potter films. She has to like the national treasure film— -- not seen the film in quite some time, soo uh I’m not a fan of the vacuum cleaner character. Brave little toaster is not. That. Great. Of a plot device? Uhh but what can you say? The- but the vacuum cleaner’s scary. There’s the lamp character, there’s a blanket character, I think the blanket character was supposed to be like an electric blanket umm cause it have like a like a dial on it. I like the blanket character the blanket character is really wholesome. And then there’s also umm the toaster character, which again, I thought was a very cool plot device when I was little but now that I am at the ripe old age of 36, I gotta say, it’s not a very good plot device— -non and critique the brave little toaster with me, that’s all I want in a woman. Ack — - too into the emma, too into the Dutch. I don’t like the Belgians, they did, ahh man the bene- or the whole Benelux region in general is kinda weak. ummm none of them have a- like their own like culture or anything like it’s kinda like discount Germany. A ride across the channel from the uk, I guess that’s pretty cool. But the- but so Belgium is like half French and half Dutch, I don’t even understand— -- and they barely even have any in California, if we’re gonna be honest, The burger king franchise, it’s not like- you think there’d be more of them. I I’ve seen like maybe one and it was attached to a Walmart? I dunno where you even find them. I dunno if it’s like a mid-west or east coast franchise — -- it’s a- it’s very important for her to be of the age of 18 to 20 years old. That is probably the nu- one of the number one features that is required but she also has to be very well-off financially, so that way if twitch collapses in on itself I don’t have to go back to work— -- to do, I’m not quite sure. But, you know, there’s gotta be some way to to summon such a like an ethereal being that is uhh simple for the every man to do. Cause obviously many people have done it, I’ve seen a lot of people with girlfriends. And I just I just don’t know. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t understand. But anyway my ad is out there, you can hit me up on the uhh— -- mick was no longer in the rocky franchise. Um, I think it was after rocky 2, but um, I can’t be too certain, like he could’ve been in rocky- I haven’t seen rocky 3. He could be- I know mr T’s in rocky 3 but that’s really it, I know that rocky is like “ooh I’m hot shit” and he uhh gets his act- his ass kicked by mr T, who’s in the the the- not in g.i. joe, he’s in the a team, which is another media franchise I’ve never seen , and I’m I’m not sure if it’s good? I don’t really know anything about it. I don’t know I don’t know a lot about 80’s media, I know that ghostbusters was - malls, same time I unsubscribed from all the political channels, cause like I um, I used to watch the uhh the uh, what’s his what’s his name? the doug walker, uhh what’s his name? The nostalgia critic. When I was when I was in probably the first year of high school – -- so in the one episode of the nostalgia critic, he- wh which one was I talking about? The uh sorry, dash roamed (?), dash unmuted and made me lose my train of thought for a minute. I can’t remember which episode of the nostalgia critic I was talking about. But um, okay, so there’s a lot of episodes, there’s one where – -- the official version, of minecraft pocket edition on my kindle fire but I would wa- from- basically, from the years of 2009 and 2010 I would watch the angry video game nerd. And then one time I got in trouble cause my parents walked in and then they had uh they had me sit down and watch an episode of the angry video game nerd with them. Which was probably one of the worst experiences of my entire life. And I regret uhh, every day. And I I remember it so vividly uh it’s like a mental scar. And I was I was only around 9 years old at the time. I was um, I was in the third grade, and I like- that’s like a like a repressed memory, that was like a really bad time. But yea I really like the angry video game nerd, I thought I’d revisit him, saw the collab with the uhh what’s his face? With the doug walker, and I watched a quinton reviews video on doug walker. And I was like: “oh man doug walker… Ah he’s not a great guy” and so I, you know. But I I hadn’t watched doug walker for a while up until that point. Umm – -- conomy, uh, so that what happened with the social Darwinism in the 1800’s was you had the big uh corporations like the standard oil company, which would uh see themselves as like the the Pinnacle of uh that specific which they which they occupied. Uh so they would see themselves as the superior, the superior force in the market and they would they’d see that as their reason for swallowing up smaller businesses. So like, for example, what john d rockefeller would do, john d rockefeller would offer to buy a an like an independent oil refinery for a a, you know, not a great amount of money. Or or a good amount of money, depending on who it was, but that person might not wanna cave, so people are like: “oh well” and he’s like “well, okay” and he just lowers the price of oil to where everyone’s taking it at a loss, but the thing about the standard oil company, was because it owned about 90% of the oil refining industry, umm he was able to take that loss, for the amount of time that he was doing it, just long enough for the uh the business he was trying to take for let’s say a couple million to like, Fail completely and flop. Um and so then he’d buy that business for maybe a few thousand dollars. Uuh so that’s that’s how john d Rockefeller did that. But uh, so I was talking about social Darwinism I was talking about the uh the the Rant era of youtube. So I was talking about like people come out on top. leafy was one of those like, one of those businesses, you know, that got bought out by the standard oil company, you know, that would be h3h3 in this specific situation. Which is very strange considering uh h3’s political philosophy, and is supporting someone like Andrew yang. Now let’s talk about Andrew Yang – -- ticipating, I’d lo- I’d I buy dlc for games during this steam summer sale and uhh, having a thousand dollars, would make it much easier to buy. More things on – -- want this car, I want this car so bad but that bike is so much cheaper, which one are you gonna take? Are you gonna take the bike or the car? You’re gonna take the uh, you’re gonna take the bike. So that’s what I’m saying, like you- during the steam sales you always buy worst products, not because um. Simply because they’re cheaper, they’re the cheaper option. You you’d you could buy the Lamborghini but the Lamborghini is not on sale because guess who put that on the store. it was like, the the guys who do like 2k, who doesn’t do anything during the steam sales. You got- so you buy like like a game like bye bye wacky planet, which is a game in my steam library, that I – -- im city 4 deluxe. I have sim city 4 deluxe in my steam library, I’ve opened it one time ever in my entire life, back in uh back in the days of uhh, I think 20..13? And it crashed for half an hour. And that is my- that is how much playtime I have in that game. Um. And I refuse to install it or play it ever again, cause like city sim games are trash. They’re terrible, no one wants to play them. And if you do, there’s like something wrong with you. You gotta have like a like a like a some like kinda masochist kinda thing going. Cause like that’s seriously like the same thing as inflicting like bodily harm on yourself. As like a joke. You play that game to prank yourself. Yeah. Anyway, date me.
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2020.09.07 04:38 500scnds [Table] My name is Paolo Cattaneo. 5 years ago I quit my job, sold everything I had and embarked in a trip around the world on a motorcycle. Rode for almost 185000 km. Still going! Here to answer question about self sustained living on the road and long distance solo travelling. AmA! (pt 1)

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Questions Answers
How much does this lifestyle cost you on average? Obviously it will vary by location Since the most asked question will be probably this one, I decided to break it down mathematically so, hopefully, it would be more transparent for everybody.
I don't think I could summarize with an average how much I spent per month, since the delta from month to month was absolutely unpredictable. But somehow everybody seems to love maths so... There you go.
A couple of things first: 1) different countries have different cost for food, accommodation, fuel and spare parts so to make an average, it s actually quite hard. For instance, a country like Peru cannot be compared in terms of costs with a country like the Netherlands in all terms. 2) when I travel, I am not on vacation. Just because I visit places and don't work, doesn't mean I can afford things like people that go on vacation for 2 weeks. People on holidays usually maintain the same level of comfort they have at home, or even improve it, righteously spoiling themselves, for the few days they have off in a year. I do the exact opposite. I spoil myself by not having to go to work.
Hence, there are 3 major costs in travelling on a motorcycles are: 1) fuel and bike parts (tyres, oil, filters, etc) 2) accommodation 3) food
These are also in order of importance. Fuel and bike maintenance guarantees the continuity of the journey so, those have the absolute priority. Where I sleep or what I eat, do not matter much. I will survive whatever I eat and wherever I sleep. It's incredible what our body can do end endure.
After a year of travelling I found out that, because my life and routine changed completely, I didn't need 3 meals a day anymore. Removing 1 meal a day allowed me to save a lot of money in the long run. It is a sacrifice but it is doable and It is super practical. I also found fasting good for the mind.
Sleeping arrangements could also affect greatly on your expenditures so, depending on countries and weather conditions, I usually opt to sleep in my tent or in hostels. Sometimes I do couchsurfing or stay at other motorcyclists houses, friends, friends of friends, etc. I ve also slept at complete strangers houses that i met on the road and that were reaching out simply to help. It s unbelievable how many people, just want to give you a hand. It s impossible to explain it. You have to see it yourself to believe it.
The cheap hostel in Peru would cost $5-6 a night, while in the USA $25.
In this sense, I estimated an average of 10 USD a night for accommodation for and average of 20 days per month. Again, It is a rough estimate. Let s say the other 10 days I sleep at people's houses, or in my tent or couchsurfing (so at no cost). Foodwise I usually drink a coffee (I carry my own little Italian coffee machine) in the am, with a piece of bread or instant oatmeal. Then I ride the whole day and reach my destination at 4-5 pm. I then eat. I mostly eat vegetarian but i occasionally have meat. I mostly shop at cheap supermarkets or local markets. Vegetables are cheap and nutritious and available all over the world. And so is pasta and rice. This whole thing costs me let s say 10 USD a day.
So for Food and Accommodation I roughly spend 500 USD. Then there's fuel. Fuel costs can vary from country to country but, for the sake of it, let s put fuel price at 1.2 USD a liter (4.5 USD a gallon). My bike in standard riding conditions does 20km per liter of fuel. In 5 years I rode 180000 km. That's 36000 a year. That s 3000 a month. So 3000/20 = 150 liters. 150 x 1.2 = 180 USD
The grand total is 500+180= 680USD per month Let s put 100 USD in for extras and whatever. It's 780 USD a month, if you will. But trust me when I say that I think I spend less than that.
There you go.
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What is your coffee maker? Moka pot i'm guessing? I have a little Bialetti coffee machine, yes. :)
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Yeah, that confirms you are really Italian. So is my SO, and when we are traveling, she will start complaining about the bad coffee by the time we get to the airport 😄 I am Italian...but I'm also passed that point of complaining about food all the time! I learned to enjoy my meal...regardless. :)
another coffee reply
Any tips for the Bialetti? A neighbor gave me one and I used it with Café Bustelo and it was crazy stong, albeit not too bad. Use less coffee ground! 😅
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If you saved 40k, are you down to very little money now? I'm just thinking it's been 5 years, and I imagine you've had some unexpected expenses that would have your average end up being relatively accurate on aggregate, even if you typically spend less in a month. At $700 per month, you would be out of money. And even just the plane tickets from Australia to starting point and from somewhere to Greece where you say you were during Covid is a couple months of your budget I'd imagine. Yes, i had some unforeseen expenses. But luckily I also had a lot of help from people giving me shelter and food. In that sense I didn't spend all my money in food and accommodation but for the sake of average expenses I had to calculate it that way. In greece i found a job as volunteer in exchange of accommodation. That saved me 3 months of rent. Things like this cannot be included in average. I simply did the math to make people understand how much would it cost if life on the road would be without variables. There are too many to be considered.
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Even if it's only 600 at month, you have been riding around for how long? It seems hard to think you saved so much and you are still using the money you saved. Is anyone helping you financially? I swear...i am using my money. 😅👍 It s hard to imagine how cheap it is to live frugally...if you renounce to most comforts we have in life. But I wouldn't mind now to have a benefactor(s) and sleep in a comfy bed or have a nice meal for a change.
Does it not worry you how you might have exhausted your financial resources by the time you want to return? What do you think life after this would be like? I hope I don't sound rude; just trying to understand how you are managing your life. What you are doing is absolutely amazing; I'd love to travel too but I am not rich either, and the thought of ending up penniless by the time I am 30 terrifies me. Hey, it's a completely plausible question and I am happy to answer that. Quitting your job, your financial stability, selling everything you have, saying goodbye to everybody and ride is a "liberating" experience. In this sense, all the fears you mentioned are gone or somehow abandoned, the moment you decide to go for it! I have no fear of what lies in front of me because the mental step that I took years ago, required me to go beyond exactly this mental gap of "jumping into the unknown". Financially speaking, yeah, i don't like to have no money aside...but also, I know that I will do something about it (like finding a new stimulating gig) when the time comes. When I found myself locked in Greece during the pandemic, I couldn't really foresee what would have happened in the next months. Surely paying rent for months and being confined in an apartment wasn't ideal so I looked for volunteering jobs. Found one that allowed me to stay in an apartment for free in exchange of 3 hours of work per day. My point is that, adaptation is a key skill that I got to develop thanks to this experience on a motorcycle. I will take care of the my retirement plan, when time comes.
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Thanks for the answer. That's a wonderful perspective. I guess your anxiety lessens once you realize how capable you are of adapting to different situations, which I'm sure you must have had to do a bunch of times since you started. You are amazing, thanks for the inspiration :) It's incredible how inclined we are to adapt, If we simply...TRY ! I never thought I would be able to do a lot of things I am doing today. I just gave it a try...failed...and tried again. I did learn, by simply trying. And I'm clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed.
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I feel like you cloud start vlogging your journeys, and form a Patreon to fund it. You've seen lots of fun things, and will see more. Yes. At the beginnings I started blogging but then I realized that it would have turned my trip into a job i left the monetization of my journey aside. I just quit my job to travel and enjoy my life. Didn't want to think about money again! Patreon seem good but I haven't really found the guts to ask money to people...yet. When I ll be in need maybe i will!
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In no way am I trying to attack you or diminish your extraordinary feat; just the fact that you had the courage to take the first step gives me crazy respect for you. BUT. There is so much privilege needed to get to where you have gotten. Not financial privilege mind you, you've worked your arse off to get here. But the fact that you could somehow travel to and stay in the US (for 3 years!) and then Australia without really thinking twice tells me your white skin and European passport has played a huge role in your mental safety net. As a coloured man with a shitty passport, just getting a visa to fly somewhere would be a huge fucking deal. Add to that the racism I'd face in plenty of places around the world, yeah not happening haha. You are absolutely right, my friend. I do understand that the fact that I am white and that I have an EU passport helped me A LOT. I am absolutely aware of this and I am not so naive to think that most of the times I got away with many things because of this. Coming from other countries or being a different colour could unfortunately still play a role, these days, when moving from country to country. Said this, I got denied my entrance to USA few times anyway. They are quite strict in that sense. But it always depends on the customs officer you find at the time of entry. Anyway. I get your point. Although, it's not a definite factor for your will to travel. You can still do it.
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I love everything you're doing and have spent the last hour just reading your answers. I don't think you're answering anymore but... Do you have any plans of coming to India? I hope I get to meet you if you do come. Hey! Of course i have plans for India! Hopefully the covid will end soon! It all depends on that now
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You can write blogs, and make YouTube videos to sustain your adventures! I am sure many of us would like to see your journey. I got few videos on youtube but i never really invested too much time (clearly) in that. Maybe I should
I always hear about people "giving up everything" and traveling the world. However, most people have worries about their economic status. Can you speak to yours at the point when you embarked? How much money had you saved, did you have any debt, what did you do with your belongings (Were there things you stored somewhere because you did want to sell or get rid of them? Did you pay for storage?), did you create a plan to generate additional income (e.g., plans for side jobs while traveling), and have you thought how to re-integrate into the "working world" when your traveling concludes (or are you hoping YouTube, etc. supports you)? Thanks! So, I started saving money when I moved to Australia. In 5 years I rounded up $40k more or less. I had no debts and, regardless the bank offering me "super interesting" offers about Credit Cards or Mortgages to buy properties, I didn't end up getting in debts with any banks. I also avoided kids and wives. I was renting an apartment and sharing it with a friend. When I decided to leave I sold all my furnitures on Gumtree (local Craigslist) and donated all my clothes to Salvation Army (Goodwill). I had no belongings left except what I piled on the bike when I left. And few months in I also realized that I didn't even need some stuff that I brought along. I did quit my job with no plans to work while travelling. I wanted, for the first time in my life, have a moment to simply ENJOY THE MOMENT without thinking about work and life as I knew it. I wanted to experience freedom, without the burden of thinking about my future constantly and what's going to happen next. I was raised with this mental construct too, so to break free from that was indeed liberating. I do not know how is going to be when this part of my life ends. If I have to go back to work, I will. But with a different heart and mind.
How did you manage it, physically? I find that my legs, back, bottom and body ache after just a few hours of riding (3+ hours), and this gets worse and worse over time (6+ hours, etc). Even on a comfortable touring motorcycle, I can’t imagine riding continuously for weeks or months at a time. Yes. Physically was challenging indeed. I had to replace my seat because the was no more foam inside. It was like sitting on a stool. Back and arse are the worst affected areas. I rode with a bit of a windscreen, so that helped to ease some of the neck pain. Luckily I had some physical conditioning to start with, but eventually I got out of shape. But, like everything in life, we eventually get used to it.
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How many hours do you ride a day? It really depends. When I do ride, let's say that is a minimum of 1 and a half to 13 hours.
Could you maybe do a "what's in my bag"-post, show us the gear, tools and clothing you use and talk a bit about why you chose what? Ok.
Pannier 1 Camping Gear: - Sleeping bag - Air mattress - 3 people tent (I'm a tall guy) - $20 cooking pot set - propane gas tank - pocket knife - foldable chair - water bladder
Pannier 2 Electronics and knick knacks: - 11" laptop - 2 hard drives (backup!!!) - Chargers - portable tyre compressor - spare oil filter - spare front tube - cable ties - duct tape - bungee cords - first aid kit - spare bolts and screws
Tool bag - various moto tools
Duffle bag: - Clothes (various)
Tank Bag: - Drone - Toothbrush - Notepad - Small Lock - Pen
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Did you have any problems with the drone? I remember you told me once on instagram that you planned on visiting Azerbaijan but couldn’t because Azerbaijan closed all the borders. Let me warn you that if you decide to come when borders reopen, know that drones are illegal here. Retarded law I know but you really cannot do anything about it because it is highly enforced. Probably you can give it up in customs and pick it up when you leave Nicaragua is the same. They don't allow drones in their country. I had to send it to costa rica via mail.
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Traveling without a Leatherman. I can't believe it. It s listed. "Pocked knife" ;) You are right...i should have said Leatherman
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What drone do you have? DJI mavic Air.
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I have a CB600F I've fitted panniers to and can't fathom how you got all that camping stuff into one pannier, your packing skills must be sick I got some pretty roomy panniers too. Giant Loop is actually a company from Oregon, USA that makes these spectacular bags. I ve been riding with their products for years now.
Well nobody has asked it yet.. How did you self sustain yourself for so long? I understand everything is cheaper in South America but you also went through North America. In north America, specifically in USA, I had some friends that helped me finding accommodation along the way. I also wild camped a lot. Froze my arse up couple of nights too... But It's doable in Canada and USA since the land is so vast and you can always find a place to pitch your tent in safety.
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See my trouble always begins when I pitch a tent I used to be the same, mate!
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Maybe I'm just jaded but I don't know of anywhere you can just pitch a tent and sleep in the woods. Everywhere I've ever been camping there's an 80 dollar fee and you get a designated campground. Download iOverlander.
Hi, sorry if this is a personal question, but how often did you get laid? Do cultural differences play a role? Personal question, but interesting nonetheless. Thanks for asking "sensibly".
When travelling from town to town it's easy to meet people. The common Idea is that travellers get laid a lot. Unfortunately, in my case, I do not go out much when I travel, so my social encounters are limited to the location where I end up spending the night. I also typically stay not longer than a day or two, which is also usually not enough to create a connection with a potential partner (in my case). A lot of women are indeed attracted by the "solitary wolf" riding a motorcycle around the world, but they are not generally inclined to have a one night experience. Hence, the answer to your question, is that I rarely get laid. Cultural differences are what make mating interesting though. One trait that is standard for your part of the world, could be extremely exotic in another. Sometimes even the accent in which you speak a foreign language, could be a favourable factor.
But at the end, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
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Dai ammettilo che l'accento italiano aiuta. Storia interessante la tua. Ti auguro il meglio! Sorry guys.. Italian things going on here ( shakes hands in the air ) Un pochino aiuta! ;) cheers!
How did you deal with language barriers? In all latin america the most spoken language is Spanish. I struggled at the beginning but after the first month, I had a decent basic level that allowed me to communicate quite easily with the locals. In Brazil was hard again, since portuguese was completely new for me. But again, after 1 month I got used to it and I was able to have basic conversations. If you give yourself enough time, you'll pick up any language.
In other situations I used my english or sometimes, like recently in Greece, Google Translate. Works beautifully!
Is it true that Italian and Spanish go hand in hand? I had some friends from Mexico who were confident that they could pick up Italian if they lived in Italy and were forced to use it every day for a month or 2. There are different and discordant opinions about this. I personally believe that Italian and Spanish are VEEEEERY similar. I think that any spanish speaker could easily pick on italian if spending some time in the country. And viceversa. But I also met people that thought otherwise. Not sure why. It wasn't too complex for me to pick up spanish. Definitely not perfect, but way better than a native english speaker.
What was the coolest thing you saw? Hard to pinpoint one single thing. Saw so many incredible things in 5 years! Nature always strucks me the most. Some places leave you speechless. Some encounters too. But the coolest experience for me was to swim with marine wildlife in Australia and Ecuador.
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Hey I from Ecuador! Glad you enjoyed the wildlife. Can you elaborate on your experience there? Did you visit the Galapagos islands? Ecuador is hands down my favorite country...for its people, for nature, for food, roads...i mean, i had a fantastic time there. I also visited Galapagos and It was one of the highlights...of my life!! I simply incredible. If there was ever a place on earth close to Jurassic Park...
How does your license work? I mean if you have a drivers license in one country and you drive through multiple countries. What happens if you get pulled over? Having European or Australian driver license is sufficient to drive in most foreign countries. I do have an International Driver License, which is simply a piece of paper you can request from your local Automobile Club, that translates your license in many languages and which is helpful when finding an "scrutinous" policeman. At the borders they never check your driving license.
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What about the motorbike's papers? Did you need a carnet de passage ? And could you tell us about the shipping of the bike, plane or boat, expense, level of organisation needed? For the americas, you don't need CdP. The shipping of bike could be done by cargo ship or plane. Both are not cheap but quite feasible. There are agencies that usually take care of the paperwork for you. A simple google search could help you pinpoint some good info. Unfortunately because rules and prices change from country to country, prices have to be requested to the company you choose. It is usually around $1500 + to ship a motorcycle indicatively...for both sea or air freight.
Can you speak on your base knowledge of bikes at the start of your travels? I'm interested in purchasing a bike to cruise around America in once (if) this pandemic blows over. Did you ever have to do any emergency DIY work when you couldnt make it to a garage for professuonal repairs? First of all: DO IT!! it's an amazing experience. I had basic/zero motorcycle mechanical skills when I started. I often used youtube as a source of "inspiration". Now I rather do the job myself than taking my bike into a shop. If you are going to cruise around the US, you wont need to carry much spares, since you can buy and have most parts shipped wherever you are. Somehow even breaking down, if happens, is a great part of the overall adventure.
[deleted] I am not sure. Yet. Definitely the more I go on with this adventure (and life) the more I become aware of myself and my surroundings. I am looking forward to have somehow a peaceful life in harmony with my surroundings. Stress has been out of my life for a while now and I want to keep it this way. Don't have a family. Never had kids or wives. I think it's going to stay this way...but you never know.
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You've been doing this 5 years now. Do you feel the need to keep moving after you've been somewhere for a few days? How long is the longest you've been stationary since staring and did you ever feel like you wanted to get off the road for a longer time. Well...yes I always feel the need to see something more and explore. I get bored easily. But I have to say that during my Lockdown in Greece I was absolutely at peace. I really enjoyed my down time and i took advantage of it by taking care of many little things i left behind.
Did you tend to keep to yourself most of the time, or would you go out to meet people and socialize with the locals in the area? I am not really a "social beast" anymore. I socialize in hostels and when I look for food mostly...but I don't go out at night. That is quite personal, but I prefer a quiet night than pubs. This allowed me somehow to save a lot of money in the long run. I may have missed out in "social opportunities", but I prefer this way.
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But you did meet a lot of people right? Im not social at all and it keeps me from traveling, im afraid that it would ruin the experience if I dont click with anyone haha. You gave me some confidence this will be a smaller problem than I think it is. I am an introvert and generally speaking, kind of a geek. So yeah...not really the outgoing kind of guy...but, when travelling alone, you don't have that social pressure anymore. You are by yourself and there's nothing to tell you what you have or not have to do. you are free. And will meet tons of people!!
Where do you stay at (camping, airbnb, rental, etc) ? Where you get money from? What do you usually carry with you? What is you most essential item? Have you made many friends? I mostly stay in Hostels (when is cheap enough). In latin America, you can pay from $5-$10 for a night in a shared dorm. When in remote areas, I camp. Best thing ever. Otherwise I use Couchsurfing. Occasionally I stay with friends and/or other bikers that got to know my story and want to help out. I live off my own savings. Most essential Item is "Common sense". AKA try not to do extremely stupid things. :)
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How far do you usually have to plan ahead to find couchsurfing accommodations? The one thing that has deterred me from trying it out is that my motorcycle trips almost never stick to the schedule I have planned. Either due to unforeseen circumstances or maybe just deciding to ride around an area longer. Have you given people on CS a range of dates/times that you would arrive, or do you have to have your arrivals planned thoroughly? Yes, you usually have to investigate one or two weeks ahead to find accommodation with couchsurfing. Especially because I am a single guy. If i was a girl, i could find somewhere to sleep in few hours. Ahah. Oh well, women are less threatening i guess! ;) But yeah. You do need to check first and give a rough estimate of days of your permanence. Typically 2-3 days is the max. Then if both parties are ok, you can extend.
Have you ever done any housesitting for accommodation? I've done smaller trips like this, staying in hostels and campsites. I've heard of housesitting more recently and once I go again I'm thinking of trying it out. When looking at listings though it almost seems to good to be true. I just wonder if there is a catch to it I ve never done housesitting specifically. But I ve used HelpX, Workaway, woofing, etc to find occasional gigs that allowed me to get accommodation in return of small jobs. In Greece i stayed in a 9 apts complex on the beach by myself, in exchange of cleaning and painting! Great deal indeed
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If you were a woman, there would also be far more risks to couch surfing alone. I'd definitely prefer planning over higher risk of sexual assault. Women have more chances of getting hosted because there are a lot of women hosts too. Or couples. They are definitely more willing to host a woman. But i get your point
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Thanks, got another question. What is enough savings for a year in Latin America? well, it really depends of what kind of lifestyle you want. If you are ok sleeping in hostels every night and eating cheap market food...doesn't really take much! depending on which countries you want to visit too and how you want to move around! you can do it hitchhiking too if you want! and that won't cost you a thing! Just time!
How did you manage to not have your motorcycle stolen? Common sense. Mostly parked inside or in "safe areas" when possible. You can never be 100% sure but I never had issues of sort in my 5 years of travelling. Actually somebody stole my tool bag in Vancouver, Canada.
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As a Canadian id like to say “sorry”. apologies accepted! ;)
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As a Vancouverite, I'm not surprised. We have a large homeless population and they target anything they can find to steal and sell. It wasn't a homeless guy per se...was definitely a junkie. I went to Hastings street 3 days in a row to see if i could find my stuff...but it was gone. Bummer.
how were the first few months without the things that you were used to having? (sorry for the bad english, it isn't my main language) Your english is fine, mate! First month was HARD! 😅 I had never camped in my life and the longest moto trip I took by that time was only 350km. So yeah, in the beginnings the learning curve was steep! Basic things like "where to sleep at night every night" or "how to store food" were kind of abstract concepts for me. My first night camping was also my first night on the road. It was horrible. I paid so much money to camp in a so so campground, with noisy and drunk neighbors. It also rained at night. Haha An absolute fail! It got better and better with time. Also looking for food, packing and taking care of the bike. It was a full immersion in a brand new lifestyle for me. A great experience indeed
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Paolo, your first night camping sounds ... well, it sounds really terrible! I'm curious how you would compare that first inexperienced night with say... an average night camping somewhere, anywhere, I don't know... say 2-4 years later after having done it for a while. In which ways did that first inexperienced night of camping come to differ from your more seasoned camping night to night later on? What kinds of routines did you end up falling into on those nights that you picked up from years of experience having done it? Well...let's just say that my love for camping escalated quickly as well. I started camping in the wild...not in confined facilities, and I simply loved it. Sitting quietly in front of the fire at night, after a long day riding, watching the stars appear slowly in the sky... The silence. I learned that camping in a busy campsite, with kids screaming and music playing is not the kind of camping I was looking for. Surely is great for families, because usually it is a safe environment for kids to play in, but for solo travellers looking for some quiet is not. Better to hide somewhere behind a tree or some bushes and have a quiet night with some privacy. Free of charge.
How badly do you stink? Joking of course, good luck with your adventures. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? ;)
Not to be nosey but what would qualify as enough money to "sustain yourself for a while"? And how long do you consider that "a while" to be? I had no Idea how much It would cost me to live, travel and not work, since I had never done it before. But I knew how much It costed me to live in Sydney for a year, without any extras (just food, accommodation, rent and bills). I assumed initially that my trip around the world would have lasted a maximum of 1 year and a half. Was I wrong! I pretty much had saved $40k in 5 years of work.
Thanks for doing this! How much do you talk to strangers? I can imagine either being very sociable, or taking the opportunity to be more solitary. Also, when you were traveling the world, how specifically did you keep in contact with friends and family back home? Was one service/approach more effective than another? I love to talk with Locals!! It's the best thing! I love to talk with older people especially. They can really give you a better perspective about the place and overall more interesting stories about their lives. Sometimes there's a language barrier but I try regardless. Hostels are also a great place to meet friends and people from all over the world. Aside from this, travelling solo on a motorcycle or bicycle naturally attracts curiosity, so I also met some good friends of mine at gas stations or random rest areas in the middle of nowhere.
To keep in touch with family and friends nowadays is quite easy. Mobile data networks are excellent worldwide and you can buy local sim cards to use local carriers data traffic. I use whatsapp and fb messenger the most.
What kind of income are you receiving to sustain this lifestyle long-term? Living off my life savings. I am self supported. Just worked for few years, saving as much as I could and then took off.
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That sounds epic... Met a few guys like that, but never had the balls to do so myself. If you read this: how much of a mechanic are you? Do you do stuff yourself of do you bring your bike to the shop for maintenance/tires? At the beginning I wasn't really able to do much on my bike, except changing brake pads maybe. Then I tried and read forums online about troubleshooting...and of course youtube mate!! I tend to have a mechanic change my tyres, since it's a hell of a job and takes 4 minutes with proper machines. you can find tyre mechanics literally EVERYWHERE.
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But, with the estimate you gave it would cost like 9k usd per year to maintain that lifestyle. You’ve been doing it for 5 years. I guess it’s hard for a lot of Americans to imagine saving up 45k+ in the few years that you worked. trust me, It's even harder for an italian to conceive to save up 40k in 5 years of work. Most italians will be able to save that amount maybe in 10-15 years. That's why I quit my job in italy and moved to Australia, where salaries are way higher. It's just sad that I had to leave my family, friends and country to be able to have a better life.
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Why dont you try to register for welfare in Australia, and get the welfare cheques deposited into your account? I thought about it while riding around Australia. But I didn't find it fair. I mean, I wasn't in need of cash to sustain my living and there were probably people who seriously did. Plus I think you have to show up for interviews and I preferred to let go.
OP, you're doing what I've dreamed of doing since I was about 21... I'm 32 now. I've saved a bit of money, and have no debt, and am still considering it... but feel as though it would be irresponsible at this point? shrugs I have a few questions, Ever considered staying at a spot for a few weeks and doing some manual labor for extra scratch to help you along in your travels? Ever had any problem with weird parasites in some of your rougher spots (scabies, bedbugs, intestinal issues) such as cheap hostels and whatnot? Since you don't go to bars or anything like that, what's the easiest way for you to meet new people? Ever felt any "I'm about to get robbed" vibes while on the road? Did you make rules like not traveling too late, etc.. I'm considering doing this very thing, since I make a good living but am already a minimalist and don't really need anything... I don't care about owning a house, or having nice clothes or any of that nonsense. I suppose it'd just be a drag to hit a dead end, have to return to the workforce after a few years of traveling and finding myself unable to secure a decent gig again. Anyways, if you've read this, thanks for your time and thanks for doing this AMA! Good luck man, and stay safe. Mate, when I left for my first trip around Australia, I was I completely understand where you are coming from. It take a bit of time to prepare and commit to this. I highly recommend it though. I stopped occasionally and did some jobs, yes, but were more like small temporary gigs...that paid maybe for a new set of tyres than anything. Still! Once I pressured washed mine trucks for a week in South Australia. Haha i was covered in mudd but I was happy. I also cleaned few apartments in greece in exchange of accommodation....things like that. Things will come your way if you look hard enough.
Didn't have any problems with bugs or parasites no. Got lucky on this one i guess. But i do believe I built my immune system pretty well.
The easiest way to meet people is in hostels. Being in your 30s you are already on the "old side" for a hostel, but you are still ok. ;) haha
Sometimes yes i felt i was going to get robbed or mugged...but never happened. I never travel with cameras and other expensive items with me. When i am on the bike, there s always the "surprise effect", meaning that people are more shocked to see somebody travelling solo than tempted to rob him right away.
How has the pandemic altered any future travel plans? The pandemic changed things quite drastically. A lot of other travellers I know got stuck somewhere or had to cancel their plans until further notice. Still not sure what to do in the long terms. Covid definitely made everything more unpredictable.
What are the cheapest and best places you would suggest a young person go visit? Also, just out of curiosity, when do you think you’ll stop? Well, there are plenty of great places to go explore on a tight budget. Latin America and South East Asia are generally speaking quite cheap. I would recommend Bolivia or Peru, in SA...and Cambodia in SEA. As a start...
I Hope I will be able to go on for few more years...but so far I am pretty content with what I've done already.
How do you overcomevia issues? I believe you referred to "Visa issues"?!
Well, having an Italian passport is quite handy since you get visa on arrival (valid for 1-3 months) as a tourist in most of the countries in the world. I had to request and pay for my Russian and Mongolian visa though. You can request that 1-2 weeks before entry in any available Embassy.
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And what about other practical stuff like insurance for the motorcycle(is it allowed to be abroad for such a long time ?) ? Maybe obligatory x-yearly technical vehicle inspections (so far not needed in a lot of european countries but about to change so you were lucky I guess) ? Official site of residence (or what is it called, it is really hard to be 'homeless' in some countries, probably depends on what your current 'home country' is ) ? Ok so, insurance for motorcycle is something you need to get every time you enter a new country. Some insurance companies will insure foreign vehicles, but it isn't always the case. My bike is australian so after a certain point you need to inspect the vehicle to renew the registration. There is a process through which you can go to an associated mechanic in the country where you are and have the vehicle inspected and the results sent to the Australian motorvehicle authority. Then you can renew your papers online and have the new registration sent to you overseas. My official country of residence is still Australia, because it is where I want to go back to.
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Thanks for the response. I can imagine it is not the most interesting thing to talk about but I am planning on doing something similar with a van + motorcycle (that fits in the van) combo so I am super interested in hearing about the (boring) administrative side of someone who is actually doing it :D. I had no idea something was possible like the remote inspection, I hope something similar exists in my country too. So far I only read you have to go to inspection asap when returning to your country if you were abroad. But I can imagine that is not going to fly if you plan on being away for a very long time though :P. Also: did you happen to keep a list of insurance companies that were willing to do it ? In that sense things change rapidly and new and better companies may arise. Better check with locals or use iOverlander app to find these kind of info.
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2020.09.07 02:17 MathMajor4 After 16 years of online dating, I've come to the conclusion that it's a waste of time

In 2004 I started online dating with Craigslist, then later Yahoo Personals. I met my future wife (now ex wife) on Yahoo Personals. Then I used OKCupid which was by far the worst online dating site ever in my opinion, though POF is a close competitor. A year ago I started Bumbling, and was surprised at the quality of the site and the ease of use for guys. Within thirty minutes I had a lot of matches and women writing me. I ended up meeting someone and dated them for the past year. Now I'm single again.
I was thinking today why all of these relationships and/or dates failed. From one aspect you could say that I'm the issue. And that wouldn't be wrong. Maybe I'm just not giving it enough effort. Or maybe I'm just a bad person who finds partners boring after awhile. Or maybe I never really found a good connection online, because the very nature of finding something online isn't realistic. For example, I recently purchased a race bike. The specs for it on the website looked amazing. It was fast, light, and moderately priced. But after riding it for a few months, I went back to my old mountain bike. Why? Because it was a better fit for me. It was comfortable and more fun to ride. If I posted the specs of my mountain bike online, it would look like a hunk of junk.
The point I'm trying to make with that analogy is that finding the right person isn't about looking at specs or pictures. It's about a feeling you get around them from conversation and face to face interaction. I know there are lots of success stories for Bumble and other online dating sites. But after 16 years of this, while I met great women on here, I feel like if I met those same women at work or somewhere else, I'm not sure we would have matched. But the act of pushing two lonely people into a blind date where they have to talk to one another is interesting. It creates lots of tension, and there's always a relief when both people find out that the other likes them. But I'm not sure this is very natural and can lead to long-term success. To those who really found a great partner on here, kudos to you. I'm happy for you. For me though, I think I'm going to work up some courage and start asking people out who I'm attracted to in real life.
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