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What is Dysphoria?
2019.03.22 13:04 Paula-in-waitingWhat is Dysphoria?
Hi all This follows on from another post I made on another thread. This follows on from a discussion I had with my therapist on Transgender v transvetite behaviour (I don't want to get into a debate here about my therapist BTW) I am desperately trying to work myself out, and importantly determine if I have dysphoria. As I said elsewhere, if I can determine 'what' I have or what 'it' is I can make an informed decision upon my best course of action. We all talk about dysphoria, but what precisely is it? It sound like it needs to be debilitating and severe? The thing is I am trying to work out what is dysphoria. What is dysphoria, what does it actually feel like? Dysphoria is just a word, it doesn't describe the feelings/thoughts. Does it have to be debilitating to be dysphoria. So I've decided to post my 'symptoms' so I can get input here goes (apologies if I offend anybody here, this is an honest attempt to describe my physiological position, and it's in no particular order of priority)
My interactions with women. Firstly I adore women. I find them fascinating and beautiful. However my attraction is odd I think, and not like other men(again I think, I can't know for certain)
I am in awe of women, but significantly jealous. I want to be 'like' them, one of their 'club'. I look at women and think,' I wish I looked like that or could wear that, do that, behave like that etc etc' In my mind women seem happier than men, (probably not true) and I would like to experience the happiness of and femininity of their lives for myself. Same with their bodies. Whilst to date I have only had heterosexual relationship with women, when I look at their bodies and curves, soft skin, long hair etc etc, I don't feel a great attraction to them in a 'I want to do you' kinda way, more that I wish I had those physical attributes myself. In a side note, I generally find women easier to talk to and get along with them at a social level. Actually chatting them up is easy for me because some how I find it easy to make them laugh and understand them. I don't go for a direct approach. Many women have commented in my life that 'your not like most men', no shit Sherlock! 2.. Sex. Continuing from the above. Sex has always been 'difficult' for me, I get the impression that it's significantly different from the experience of most men. In particular I have almost zero interest in porn. A strip or topless club, regardless of the level of attractiveness of the girls, does absolutely nothing for me. I could never just sleep with someone just for sexual pleasure, I would not be able to perform. There MUST be an emotional connection with that person on a fairly deep level. In terms of sexual performance and climax, I often (usually) have to do this mental swap thing when I have to consider or think what it's like for them. I would in truth rather be the female and the roles reversed. Now I KNOW that's not normal.
My body. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. I have just always wished it was female. I think after 5 decades I've just learned to accept it is what it is. In my younger years I got into a sport in a big way and my body became overly masculine and TBH I wasn't entirely comfortable with that
I prefer to remove my body hair completely 3.. Female clothing and accessories. I love female clothing. I love the way it feels and hangs on my body. I like the soft texture, lace etc Now this sounds transvestic in nature. But when I think about it its not just your typical 'transvestite stuff' I like. I love floral patterns and 'pretty clothes' rather than those that are overtly 'sexy' although I like them to! But here the odd thing. I can really dig /like female orientated accessories. Like I have this expensive handbag which I adore, indeed when I've used it other women have comented on it.
Other stuff. I have had my nails done several times and loved it. Same with eybows shaped, and I've had individual lashes applied once and loved how it made my eyes look. Is that transvestite in nature? I also like perfume and make up.
Thoughts of transition or sorting this issue out. My Gender thoughts occur daily, several times a day. It's hard to describe them precisely, but they may involve considering transition, what I am or any of the above, particularly jealousy of women.
So is that dysphoria? It's not debilitating, I am not housebound, I can function and cope. But it's certainly unpleasant and effecting me. Paula
2018.10.03 04:27 HopefulListI've uncovered leaked videos from the world's largest Men's help company, teaching how to get away with sexually assaulting women. The seminars include hidden camera videos of themselves demonstrating how to use the techniques. That's right, they are sexually assaulting real women, on camera.
The more I dig, the more I find, I am looking for other people to help investigate this company. I offer this severe warning: The contents of what I did find are extremely disturbing, and includes real videos of unsuspecting women being sexually assaulted: Real Social Dynamics Inc teach that a no is not always a no. That they're giving 'token resistance'. There's specific techniques for overcoming her resistance as 'cavemanning' The most prominent figure in the seduction community is a guy named Owen Cook. His company is the largest Mens help company, by a very very large margin. This is one of his writings
DE-CLOGGING WITH CAVEMAN. Say that a girl is in state, but you just CAN'T seem to escalate. She just isn't biting on the active disinterest stuff. But at the same time,you KNOW that she's in state. What to do?Solution - CAVEMAN HER ASS! :)The reason is that if she has enough emotional chemicals built up in her, when you caveman her it will be the BEST feeling of her entire life. She won't stop it, and then she'll BACKWARDS RATIONALIZE that she wanted it I've had girls I slept with tell me that when I forced them to kiss me, it was the most sexual thing that they've ever had done to them. haa, from an average looking 5'9 fucking EX-DWEEB.. NICE. But why? Because I played on her states effectively.So this is all buying temperature and escalation related. Cavemanning is something I use to DECLOG a pipeline that isn't flowing properly. I ATTEMPT all other measures FIRST, but if it isn't working for me then I just go caveman, and progress the pickup from there You see this in John Wayne movies, where the girl is freaking out, and he pins her to the wall and starts kissing her. She struggles and struggles, and then let's go and just falls in love with him again and everything is FINE. haaa, those motherfuckers KNEW how to interact with women on an emotional level back then, before the women's movement came in and fucked us all up This isn't sexist either. Women LOVE guys who do this. It doesn't mean disrespect women. It means that sometimes they want you to help them emotionally, and not annoy them with over-explanation that has no relevance to them. If the chick HONESTLY still pushes for logic, then fine. But until she's made it CLEAR, I assume its emotional help that she wants, from a guy who she's sexually involved with (aka: I'm not her BUDDY)
She was a stripper... I fucking hated that fucking bitch. Fucking bitch. She even had the tramp stamp. You know what I'm saying? The full tramp stamp. She's just a full, slut whore slut. I fucked the shit out of her, dude... The last way I fucked her too, it was in the morning, she was taking a shower, and I didn't think she wanted to have sex again, but I just threw her on the bed and I put it in her, and I could barely even get it in because she was just totally not in the mood. And I was like, "Fuck it, I'm never seeing this bitch again. I don't care." So I just like, jam it in, and it's all tight and dry and I fuck her, and I'm like "I'll just make this quick because she doesn't even want it." But then she starts to get into it, and once she gets into it I came prematurely.
Then put a relationship issue on blast, when there's not a human in the world who hasn't had a fight with their significant other where you say a lot of emotional stupid shit. I mean hell, if I had some of my arguments with ex's on there, I'd look way worse and have said way crazier shit, as have the girls
https://web.archive.org/save/http://www.rsdnation.com/node/898838 After the Trump bus scandal came out, a lot of pickup companies came out with products based on him, since he resonates a lot with the incel community. They actually believe that Men should have the right to just start kissing women Julien Blanc came out with a product based on Trump, complete with hidden camera video. That's right, he actually put videos of himself sexually assaulting women. That's right Cant put clip on youtube or copyright strikes, uploaded to https://streamable.com/zoh1t In the clip, Julien Blanc is trying to coerce a woman to cheat on her fiance with him. She's politely trying to get to her friend but Julien physically blocks her. When he fails, out of frustration he grabs her head, and forceably kisses her. Also, Owen Cook is in the background trying to distract the friend. Now she has a frenetic energy, she's trying harder to get away, but Julien keeps physically blocking her. They try to guilt her on cheating, even though he forced himself on her. Julien says he'll leave her alone if she hugs her, she relents. But Julien picks her up and takes her away. He says he wants to kiss her but she keeps on saying no, repeatedly. The video shows Julien aggressively and effectively retraining her. Anyone who studies grappling knows what he's doing, constricting her at the armpits so that her arms have no leverage. Despite that she tries her best to push his face away. But he's too strong Many critics of sexual assault and rape accusers always criticize about why didn't fight back more. Maybe this video will show them why. Many women are socially conditioned to be polite (the demeanor difference between Dr Ford and Brett shows this), many are polite out of fear because the men are much stronger and demonstrate they have no qualms about using their strength to restrain and force themself on women. In that scenario she tries to appease his ego as a strategy of getting away without being assaulted. Sure, she could have screamed, but if she's never encountered a man with these kinds of intentions in the past, she still may have doubt in her mind of his bad intentions, that he just maybe be dimwitted and well intentioned. Still hoping her strategy of appeasing his ego will work. But it didn't work, Julien knew what he was doing. And is probably one of the best in the world at a strategy men like Trump have been doing Also RSD Jeffy advocating using physical force to subdue women https://web.archive.org/web/20181001075524/http://aaronsleazy.blogspot.com/2011/03/rsd-cool-with-date-rape.html Highlights
We literally explored the whole area of bed while I wrestle with her. Kept on pinning her down. My penis is not hard enough to force it yet. She's twisting her legs to prevent entry. She wants me to be on fire. Her hands on my hands to keep from fingering her. Finally, I succeeded on fingering her. All this time she kept saying no. Heard it about a hundred times Fingered her, she tried escaping and getting off bed. For the first time in my life I experienced hardcore LMR. She kept on saying "Stop! Please! it hurts! no! NO!" I just kept on thinking TD [Tyler Durden, which is Owen Cook's nickname] pinning his GF. She wants it
You need to act quick, dont let her any time to think or lead. Only pace yourself to get a vibe going. Do not hesitate, or youre fucked. Dont be afraid to physically force her to do anything or to tell her no or shut up. (can make her not like you and fuck up the pull so only do it ifnecessary
Yeah that bit about jiu jitsu... I actually recommend taking some form of martial art for improved man handling abilities, bjj + strength training = god tier manhandling skills
yeah, and then when you're done with her, you just like grab all her clothes an then throw em at her, then shout get out you fucking whore. women deserve this because of what they've done to us
Part of the problem for me is fear that if I am this aggressive with a girl, especially a young drunk girl 10 to 15 years my junior, she may cry "rape" the next day. Not because it happened but because she wants to justify her slutty behavior. It sounds like you just need to be extremely calibrated to sense if she's really down and just putting up token resistance or if she really feels "forced" into doing things
RSD Jeffy (Jlaix on the forum) not only gives his full approval, he mocks those who are complaining (on page 3)
Loving the responses. "DURR HOW DOES I NOT LOOK NEEDY FEENGURRMAN"
RSD Jeffy then mention that he had taught the OP these tactics
lol i taught him well.
RSD Jeffy further elaborates his in-person relationship with op, and then insults those are complaining about these tactics (page 7)
The quality of girls he's fucking was pretty damn good from what I saw sir. We're here to fuck girls not assuage hypothetical psychological wounds and/or better society. I'm frankly a little sick of KJ moralizing and hand wringing about this shit. Let's not sugar coat what it is we are doing here too much. We're FUCKING WOMEN. And it's not called "seeking validation" it's called "trolling the forum to direct more traffic to his blogs and shit so he makes money which allows him to beast mode 24/7"
Its a constant attunement to the emotional energy, making tiny corrections forward and back over her sweet spot. If you pull back and look at the big picture however you wont see this and it will just look like steady, aggressive escalation.
he made a joke that he "roofied" (second red flag) and then jumped on top of me. We made out for a couple more minutes and he yanked my shirt off. When I said no sorry, I'm not going to fuck you he quickly stood above me straddling my body with his ankles, pulled out his DICK and waved it back and worth asking "ever seen one of these, ever seen one of these" When he comes back up, he has ZERO clothes on. (I still have my dress on). AND he has grabbed a condom and is putting it on. At this point, I'm like OK, BUDDY. LETS TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH. total time since kissing began- definitely less than 20 minutes. He FLIPS the FUCK out. Jumps up and starts berating me, gesturing at his (now limp) dick, saying,"LOOK at what you did to me!!" and "are you kidding me? After all that time I spent on you??". It was now that I started thinking about whether I was strong enough to beat him off me, should it come to that. Thankfully, I was able to escape unscathed thanks to Uber and being surprisingly good at calming down angry men with promises of 'calling them tomorrow'. This guy is a predator and I hope this coverage helps prevent other girls from going out with him. Though I doubt it will.
"Footage of Julien Blanc's Colleague, Alexander Treasure. I feel that he is worse than Julien Blanc. It's a big statement, but the video contains footage of the following: -Alex giving advice on how to physically attack women who reject his advances. -Alex yelling at a girl walking away from her, stop her from closing her car door, and refusing to leave until he gets a kiss. -Alex lashing out at another women who tries to stop him from kissing her friend. Alex goes as far as to pretend to own the club and threaten to kick them out unless she apologies and is allowed to kiss her. -Footage of Julien Blanc talking about how it was Alex who taught him how to grab girls in Japan. -Footage of Owen Cook (president of Real Social Dynamics, company that Julien and Alex work for) telling a story about how Alex found a women sleeping naked in Tyler's room. Alex proceeded to take off all his cloths and get into bed with the women and wake her up. Then he yelled at her until she was forced to run out of the hotel room naked. -Footage of a seemingly drunk woman ("I can't talk right now") Alex told to lie on the ground. The camera pans away, but the women starts to yell "What are you do-NO NO NO NO NO". The camera then pans back to them, with Alex on top of the women. Then friend then comes to her aid yelling 'you are not raping, Aussie'. -Forum Screen shots detailing a homophobia-motivated assault. The shots are from Real Social Dynamics internet forum containing two reviews about one of the videos Alex showed at his event. The video was Alex convincing at a client that he needs to track down and assault a particular transgender person in order to 'reclaim his manhood'. The client proceeded to do so. Throughout the whole video Alex referred to the person as a 'bitch', 'cunt', and 'whore'. At the end of the video, Alex said 'isn't that funny.'. Alex responded to the reviews with 'while i do want to show some other funny pick ups, i'll ask people who don't want to see the lighter side and the real life adventures to wait outside.Ha, and the person he/she was a very bad person for sexually interacting withiut disclosing her sexuality'. Both Julien Blanc and Alexander Treasure work for Real Social Dynamics, whose president is Owen "Tyler" Cook."
Also advice from another RSD instructor, RSDLuke:
For ejecting and pulling related sticking points: Stay in every set until she calls security or threatens violence. REALLY. This means following her around exactly like a real stalker when she leaves the set
At the end of his presentation, Alex showed us a video that I found extremely disturbing. It showed a young student who had "accidentaly" made out with a transvetite in a swedish night club. Feeling humiliated in front of Alex's posse, he was told in front of the camera that his manhood was to "smash the fucking cunts face in" as Alex put it . Fortunately the young and impressionable student was a weakling who could not throw a real punch, but seeing him / her with him / her with him / her with jabs . Alex kept refering to him / her as bitch, cunt and whore. It's a fucking person!
Owen Cook, president of RSD, personally responded to the complaint calling out the perpetrator, RSD Alex, with a rant that's alone the lines of it's bad marketing. Never mind committing trans targeted violence
Alex how many times you are going to be people in the tranny beat up scene before you realize that our audience is identifying MORE with the person being beat up than the person BEATING him up !! LOL. You add all this crazy value to the event, making it massively better by having you there, but muck it up with a TRANNY BEAT DOWN SCENE? LOL * facepalm *.
The coach, RSD Alex, The guy who coerced his student to commit the crime, popped into the conversation to say this about the complaint.
I will omit it in the future. If you want to see some other funny pick ups, I'll ask people who do not want to go to life. Ha, and the person he / she was a very bad person for sexually interacting withiut disclosing her sexuality. Lucky for me this was a test run of hotseat content and now i know how oyu feel. Although the other reviews thought it was shocking and funny ...
The reviewer responded with this
Alex - well, you guys were at a gay bar after all so can not blame her
Source https://web.archive.org/web/20121105214257/http://www.rsdnation.com/node/245913? I found the video of another one of their instructors, RSD Alex https://streamable.com/qcoj8 These are the contents of the seminar -Gloating about getting a ton of his friends to assault a woman for rejecting his advances. -Hidden camera video of Alex yelling at a girl walking away from her, stop her from closing her car door, and refusing to leave until he gets a kiss. -Alex lashing out at another women who tries to stop him from being aggressive kissing her friend. Alex flips out, pretends to own the club they're at, and threaten to kick them out unless she apologies and is allowed to kiss her. -Footage of Julien Blanc talking about how it was Alex who taught him how to sexually assault girls in Japan. -Footage of Owen Cook telling a story about how Alex found a women sleeping naked in Tyler's room. Alex snuck inside the room proceeded to take off all his cloths and get into bed with the women and wake her up (keep in mind that this Woman had never met Alex before). Then he yelled at her until she was forced to run out of the hotel room naked. Owen told this story in a light heartened tone. -Footage of a seemingly drunk woman ("I can't talk right now") Alex told to lie on the ground. The camera pans away, but the women starts to yell "What are you do-NO NO NO NO NO". The camera then pans back to them, with Alex on top of the women. Then friend then comes to her aid yelling 'you are not raping, Aussie'. https://streamable.com/qcoj8 If you think you can uncover more information, or know of any professional investigative or journalism organization, please go ahead and help out. Edit 10-4-18 Found some more videos This one Julien is encouraging his students to stalk women to their houses. https://streamable.com/9rd8p This one Julien is giving coercive tactics to get inside a girls house https://streamable.com/kf95e Edit 10-5 Julien on coercing women to film them in the middle of sex https://streamable.com/0e9f5 Julien on how to force out a tampon https://streamable.com/lj41i The investigation is not complete. If you would like to help out, please PM me.
I just paid for an hour on the computer so I decided to write down a bit about this section of my travel. We (Al and I, and two other Quebecer girls we met in Granada) arrived quite late on Isla Ometepe, so we paid for a bus to reach that hostel where I knew 3 Quebecer friends of mine were staying at that night. In the bus, I started talking to an Italian guy that was sitting in the back of the bus with his kid. By the end of the ride, he showed us where that hostel was, and then told us we should come meet him the next day at the house he has been renting. We paid for the hostel that night (4$). I met up with him the next day on the beach, and he invited us over to let our backpacks there. He held onto them for the whole duration of our stay on the island (approximately 2 weeks). We became quite friendly to each ohter and would hang out together every day. The other nights, we would find different spots to camp at for free, and we finally ended up hearing about an Argentinian that had been camping on the beach, and so we joined with him for the rest of the time. What kept us that long on the island is the fact that we decided to invest in a quarter-pound of herbs, that would cooked into oil, and then started doing space-cakes with, to sell. That is how we funded pretty much all of Costa Rica´s costs, and more. After dropping a bunch of stuff from our backpacks (I decided to leave behind my sleeping bag at that point, since it is so damn hot out here that it is basically useless to carry that weight and have all that space taken in my backpack), we left the island and went to San Juan Del Sur, where we intended on selling the cakes at higher prices since it is such a big touristy place where all the gringos go to basically just spend all their money and get smashed on drugs. The first night we arrived, we stayed on the beach, but it was sketchy as hell. 12 years old kids high on crack come up to you and try to search your pockets and such, or transvetite prostitutes doing basically the same thing, as they directly go straight on to touch your genitals at the same time. As I was reading, waiting for Al to return after trying to sell some cakes, I was not looking at my backpack, and did not realize that a drunk was laying on the beach, right behind a little platform, and had been searching through all the side-pockets of my backpack. When Al returned, he saw a hand creeping up to his backpack and heard a zipper slowly opening, so he jumped over and grabbed the drunk that tried to crawl away under the restaurant next to us. We let the drunk go, without realizing that we should have searched him (we learn from our errors... though at that point, we did not know that he had gone through my backpack). Somehow, he did not take the amethyst that I had, or the pricy headlamp that I had, but took my SAK, my 50$ bill... and my nail-clipper. Aside from the money, I am glad he took those items since I did not need them and am thus now travelling lighter. After that, the private guard of the restaurant came up to us and gave us a plate of food, which we ended up sharing with one of the kids that had been hanging around with us. After that, we befriended, and he showed us where we could sleep on the beach somewhat safely: he brought us to his own spot, which is basically right below a restaurant with beach-front. He surrounded the area with a bunch of barbed wire and created an entry that he opens and closes as he comes and goes. We slept directly on the sand, and I woke up with a whole bunch of bites from sand fleas, but Al had nothing. He also mentioned how all night long there would be people getting in and out of that little squat. The next morning, after climbing a coco tree, we separated from that kid, and feeling slitghtly sketched out, set out to find a hostel where to spend the nights securely as we sell our goods. We ended up finding that awesome hostel that provided its customers with the most amazing cooking set I have ever seen, and so we got to eat quite well and be creative with our cakes and the rest of our food. After 4 more days, we were done selling everything, and it was a perfect timing because we had as a deadline the date of arrival of his girlfriend in San Jose´s airport, in the capital of Costa Rica. We left late in the afternoon to hitch toward the border, and got a ride that drove us through the night up to a border that was 30 minutes away from the border, and that is where we slept, alongside the road, next to a barbed wire surrounding a big empty field. The place was slightly windy, and it ended up raining buckets for a little while, which got our stuff quite wet. The next day, the hitching proved to be pretty hard, and so we decided to pay for the bus to the border (the Nicaraguan transportation system is extremely cheap). Arriving there, a bunch of people trying to rip off tourists by selling papers that ´´made the process faster´´ for a dollar assailed us, but we just walked through. By that point, we were pretty high since we hate a part of the remaining cakes before starting to try to hitch to the border, thinking it would be quite fast. The rest of the cookies, I just through right below the bus seats in front of us as we walked out the bus. Getting through the border proved to be a bitch: you need to prove that you are leaving Costa Rica if you want to be let in. We did not have anything and just wished that we would encounter a nice border patrol. We got turned over the first time. We stayed outside the office for a little over an hour, trying to figure out a way to fake plane tickets leaving for New York City. Al got to try to place an order online on a stranger´s phone, as I simply very easily walked across the luggage checkpoint with a Brazilian family to go reach a computer station in Costa Rica so that I could use their USB drive to use their fake plane ticket document and to then print it. My attempt proved to be useless since their whole thing was in Portugese and so would make the whole thing a bit fishy. Al had gotten the whole thing ready on this woman´s phone, without completing the purchase online. I simply took a photo of the uncompleted order, and showed it to another border patrol, and she gave us both our stamp and off we went! Unfortunately, Al entered a date that was slightly less than 20 days away, so we only got a 20 days visa (instead of 90). Costa Rica is very different from the rest of Central America. It is a richer country, and thus the rides are kind of harder to get, but it still works. We did not have any problem as two with our backpacks to reach the airport, but once we started hitching as 3, then it got slightly harder... mostly because there is a law here that prohibits drivers from having people sitting in the back of trucks as they are driving (which is not the case for all the rest of Central America). Now it has been 2 weeks that we have been here in Costa Rica, and we just separated today, so I am back on my own, and plan on trying to cross the border today. The Panaman border requires you to prove that you own at least 500$ so I paid for this computer in order to access my bank account to take a picture of my effectives, to show the border patrols. If you do not have enough, you can easily just print screen that info, and change the numbers in Photoshop or Paint, and print the page. I sent a bunch of CouchSurfing requests for a couch in Panama City, since I think it will make my attempt at hitching a boat out to Columbia sligthly easier. We will see what happens. Cheers!
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